coming out of the dark into healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 12, 2021

When you are suffering it can feel like a lonely place and you are surrounded by darkness. It sucks to get up in the morning when you know there will be yet another day of the same hell you had the day before and the day before that. 

When you know that relief is coming, the loneliness lifts and the darkness fades. Most Americans know what that feels like after this last horrible year dealing with the pandemic and all that came with it. Relief is coming and it won't be so lonely because families know they will be able to see people they care about very soon. All the darkness brought on by hopelessness started to fade because what we hoped for, has begun.

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

Gloria Estefan

I listened to the President last night and just now, reassure the people they have reason to feel as if they are coming out of the dark. He knows what pain is like, what broken hearts are like and what it is like to lose hope. But above all, he knows what it feels like when the suffering is coming to an end and we begin again.

The people working in hospitals know that things are about to turn around. All they saw before this was a never ending cycle of death and ambivalence. When the new treatments coming, they know they can save lives and there will be fewer people with their lives on the line. That level of stress on them has been almost unbearable, but someone they managed to go to work everyday for the sake of others. PTSD and depression rates went up for them. A worldwide effort put together 65 studies on healthcare workers during the pandemic and found the pandemic caused depression 21.7%, anxiety at 22.1% and PTSD at 21.5%. 

They understand what it is like for you too. Sadly more and more people understand what living with PTSD is like. The blessing is, there are more people to help them find hope now than ever before.

Gloria Estefan knows what it is like too. She knows what being a survivor is and that is why the song Coming Out Of The Dark is so powerful.

'Mayhem': Gloria Estefan remembers the 1990 bus accident that broke her back (USA Today)

Multi-Grammy winner Gloria Estefan is reliving the horror of a collision that left her temporarily unable to walk and her miraculous recovery for her new talk show, "Red Table Talk: The Estefans."

Wednesday's episode of the Facebook Watch series – which Estefan hosts with her daughter, Emily, and niece, Univision host Lili Estefan – mentally transports the "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" singer to a Pennsylvania highway in March 1990, en route to New York. Her husband, producer/musician Emilio, and their son Nayib were also on board.

Estefan, 63, was napping when an 18-wheeler rear-ended her tour bus, which she says "felt like an explosion," and threw her to the floor.

"I am looking around, and it is mayhem," she recalls. "Emilio is over me, wild-eyed, screaming, 'Are you OK?' He's covered in blood."

I use this song a lot because if people know that the worst times are coming to an end and there is reason to know that their hope was not wasted. It is the way I felt last night and today I wanted to share the power of this song with you. If you are tired of hearing it, forgive me but I'll never be tired of sharing it.

I came out of the dark many times and so can you!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Coming Out Of The Dark

Gloria Estefan

Why be afraid if I'm not alone?

Though life is never easy

The rest in unknown

And up to now for me it's been

Hands against stone

Spent each and every moment

Searching for what to believe

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

Coming out of the dark

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing with me

Starting again is part of the plan

And I'll be so much stronger

Holding your hand

Step by step, I'll make it through

I know I can

I may not make it easier

But I have felt you

Near all the way

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

(I see the light)

(I see the light)

I see the light (I see the light)

Coming out of the dark

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing with me

Ever (I stand on the rock)

I stand on the rock of your love

(Forever) ever

(And ever) and ever

Can't nobody stop me, watch me

(Forever) ever

(And ever) and ever

Stand on the rock

Of your love is all it takes

No matter what we face

Coming out of the dark

I see the light

I feel your love shining on me (shining)

(Shining) Yeah, shining on me (shining)

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing

You're sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (coming out of the dark)

I cannot be in the dark

Making it into the light, yeah

Your love's shining on me (shining)

Shining on me (I see the light)

Shining on me (I see the light)

(Shining, I see the light)

(Coming out of the dark)

I see the light

I see the light (I see the light)

(I see the light)

Shining, shining on me

(Shining, shining)

I didn't think that I could take it (shining)

But your love helped me to make it (coming out of the dark)

Coming out of the dark

I see the light now

Yes, I see the light

(Shining) (I see the light)

(Shining) (I see the light)

(Shining) (I see the light)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Gloria M. Estefan / Jon Secada / Emilio Estefan Jr.

Coming Out of the Dark lyrics © Foreign Imported Prod. And Publishing 

And the one I did for veterans.

When we grieve, we heal

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos
March 11, 2021 

A year ago, our lives changed. In the last year we have lost over 520,000 people. Almost 29 million citizens have been diagnosed with COVID-19 according to the CDC. Millions have lost their jobs. Millions of people have had to seek out food distribution locations to be able to eat. The thing is, we may never know the true numbers of people who have suffered significant mental health conditions.

The UK has been doing research on the mental health of hospital workers.

The 'Frontline-COVID study', published today in the peer-reviewed European Journal of Psychotraumatology, surveyed 1,194 HSCWs, who worked in UK hospitals, nursing or care homes and other community settings, to identify and compare the rates of mental health disorder across different job roles and places of work.

The research, carried out just after the UK's first wave of COVID between 27 May and 23 July, 2020, found that:

58% of HSCWs met the threshold for any mental health disorder
22% met criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
47% had clinically significant anxiety
47% had depression.

With so many months from then to now, it is easy to understand that the numbers are higher and even easier to understand that the numbers here in the US are much higher.

Health care workers facing a mental health crisis, 60 Minutes

Nurses, doctors and others on the frontlines of the pandemic are facing a health crisis of their own, many feeling depressed, some considering therapy. Lowery spoke with health care workers across the country, including in Georgia's rural northeast, where one hospital is still grappling with the deadliest wave of COVID-19 they've ever seen.

Erine Raybon-Rojas, a critical care doctor at Northeast Georgia Medical Center, said her workload is still more than double what it was pre-pandemic -- with no relief in sight.

"Have there been moments that have felt like you're reaching a breaking point or have been difficult – where you have been overwhelmed?" Lowery asked Raybon-Rojas in an excerpt from the story that aired on "CBS This Morning."

"Every day," Raybon-Rojas said. "It's not uncommon for us to take a minute to go cry, I mean, I cry in my office all the time… Everything you do is about getting people better. And a lot of times it just doesn't happen. The lack of being able to help someone in their most vulnerable moments is the injury. The fact that it happens over and over and over again is what I think really causes the-- the damage."

Most of us know what it is like to lose someone we love. It feels like a part of us has been taken away. Some people may give you time to grieve but then end up telling you to get over it. They don't know what you are going through and they do not deserve the right to tell you when it is time to stop grieving. There is no timeline on healing. Everyone does it in their own time, and some people, never really get over the loss, but they do recover to a certain point. 

Do not fight your feelings. Don't judge yourself by thinking you should be stronger than what your heart is telling you that you need to do. If you need to cry, then cry. Honor your feelings. Talk about what you need to talk about. If it is how much you miss them, then do it. If you need to talk about how much you loved them or how much they suffered, then do it. If you don't have someone to talk to, then write it down, or find a support group. The more you honor your feelings, the more room you have inside your heart to let in warmer memories of them.

If you are a healthcare worker, you have been through things most of us will never understand. You have been a blessing. You were there to help save those you could. You were also there to comfort those you could not save, especially when their families could not be there in their final moments. You need to honor your feelings too. If you are angry because too many people did not take this seriously and only thought about themselves, then honor your anger too. You have no control over what other people do but only about what you do with your own life.

Hopefully, this time next year, we'll all be back to whatever normal was to us and we will remember all the goodness, all those we loved and those we miss, with warmer memories to comfort us.

Today the featured song is Peter Gabriel I Grieve because he put into words what most people cannot find to express their own pain. I hope it comforts you and lets you know that it is OK to grieve.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I did this one in 2008 for National Guard troops with the song I Grieve.

I Grieve

Peter Gabriel

It was only one hour ago

It was all so different then

Nothing yet has really sunk in

Looks like it always did

This flesh and bone

Is just the way that we are tied in

But there's no one home

I grieve, for you

You leave, me

So hard to move on

Still loving what's gone

They say life carries on

Carries on and on and on and on

The news that truly shocks

Is the empty, empty page

While the final rattle rocks

It's empty, empty cage

And I can't handle this

I grieve, for you

You leave, me

Let it out and move on

Missing what's gone

They say life carries on

They say life carries on and on and on

Life carries on in the people I meet

In everyone that's out on the street

In all the dogs and cats

In the flies and rats

In the rot and the rust

In the ashes and the dust

Life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Just the car that we ride in

The home we reside in

The face that we hide in

The way we are tied in

As life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief

Or did I believe this dream?

Now I will find relief

I grieve

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Peter Gabriel

I Grieve lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

find out how to #TakeBackYourLife from it

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 10, 2021

"Darling, somebody still loves you!" Isn't that such a nice thing to hear? If you have been abandoned by everyone you knew, knowing that, can make all the difference in your life. That is what you can find in a PTSD support group. You can find a professional who also cares about you by seeking out a trauma specialist.  PTSD is not the same as other illnesses because this one was caused by an outside force that hit you. When you read about PTSD from the MAYO Clinic, you can see how complicated it can be, but you can also find out how to #TakeBackYourLife from it.

Today the featured video is James Taylor, Her Town Too. It is about how people can be cruel and gossip about things they know nothing about. That happens all the time, but it happens a lot more when people change due to PTSD. It is hard for people to understand what it is like unless they are a survivor too. The thing is, you cannot control them. All you can do is stop them from hurting you even more. Shut them out of your life. The only power they have over you is what you allow them to have.

The best revenge is to heal and be happier! They'll notice the change in you and then it will be more about how happy you seem to be, how great you look and how they want to know how you did it...so they can change their own miserable outlook on life.

You get that from support groups, where someone cares about you and helps you up instead of making fun of the fact you fell apart. Where people will not just be glad to see the change in you, but grateful they had a chance to help you become happier. Then you can help pick others up too and be thrilled you helped change someone's life because you knew what they felt like...when it was your life too.

Somebody still love you!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Her Town Too

James Taylor 

She's been afraid to go out

She's afraid of the knock on her door

There's always a shade of a doubt

She can never be sure

Who comes to call

Maybe the friend of a friend of a friend

Anyone at all

Anything but nothing again

It used to be her town

It used to be her town, too

It used to be her town

It used to be her town, too

Seems like even her old girlfriends

Might be talking her down

She's got her name on the grapevine

Running up and down

The telephone line

Talking 'bout

Someone said, someone said

Something 'bout, something else

Someone might have said about her

She always figured that they were her friends

But maybe they can live without her

It used to be her town

It used to be her town, too

It used to be her town

It used to be her town, too

Well, people got used to seeing them both together

But now he's gone and life goes on

Nothing lasts forever, oh no

She gets the house and the garden

He gets the boys in the band

Some of them his friends

Some of them her friends

Some of them understand

Lord knows that this is just a small town city

Yes, and everyone can see you fall

It's got nothing to do with pity

I just wanted to give you a call

It used to be your town

It used to be my town, too

You never know 'till it all falls down

Somebody loves you

Somebody loves you

Darling, somebody still loves you

I can still remember

When it used to be her town, too

It used to be your town

It used to be my town, too

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John David Souther / James Vernon Taylor / Waddy Wachtell

Her Town Too lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

healing with a smile on your face

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 9, 2021

What is life like when you are healing? BEAUTIFUL! If you know anything about me, you know there are a lot of things that really should make my life suck...but it doesn't. I am usually happy, no matter what crap comes my way. 

For example, today I should have gotten up out of bed in a very bad mood. I fell asleep later than normal and woke up earlier than normal. I was tired but in a good mood. I did my usual stuff, got online and shared some things that were uplifting because when I saw them, they made me feel good inside. I hoped they would make my friends feel better since most of them are going through hard times too.

If you have peace, you are half way there to happiness. If you've already arrived at happiness, then that does not mean you'll always be cheerful but it will take a hell of a lot to get you angry. It also means, you'll get over it faster than you did before.

It is an odd thing when you survived your life being on the line, how deal with stress changes after you start healing. It is almost as if you have a whole new level of what you consider important and what you find not worth getting your blood pressure up for. Don't get me wrong, because I am always confessing that I have a bad temper but have learned to control it. It is a lot of work, but I am happier without exploding.

You've got to get up every morning

With a smile in your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes you will

That you're beautiful, as you feel

That is why today the featured video is Carole King, Beautiful! I like being happy and I like helping others to feel better about their day too. Most of the time they appreciate it. Sometimes there are cranky people who love being miserable and making everyone else miserable too. Don't let them get you down because while you feel better helping others feel good, they only feel better about making others feel worse.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it~

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Beautiful

Carole King 

You've got to get up every morning

With a smile in your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes you will

That you're beautiful, as you feel

Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing

I've got nothing to do but watch the passers-by

Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing

And they don't see it showing, why do I?

You've got to get up every morning

With a smile in your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes you will

That you're beautiful as you feel

I have often asked myself the reason for sadness

In a world where tears are just a lullaby

If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness

Maybe not, oh, but we can only try

You've got to get up every morning

With a smile in your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes you will

That you're beautiful

You're beautiful

You're beautiful as you feel

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Carole King

Beautiful lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

rethink fighting PTSD alone

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 8, 2021 

If you are trying to get through what PTSD is doing to you alone, then consider this.

In the military, they are called Battle Buddy.

If hundreds of soldiers were talked out of that darkness because their squadmate became their best friend, I’ll forever argue its merit, no matter how goofy it sounds calling another grown-ass warfighter my “battle buddy.”

5 reasons why the battle buddy system was secretly brilliant, We Are The Mighty, Eric Milzarski

With the Department of Veterans Affairs, they are called Peer Support.

“When I began peer support, I was quiet, withdrawn, extremely habitual,” she recalled. “I wasn’t engaged in the community. But they told me someone is in there and we are going to give you the skills to bring her back.
“The beautiful thing about peer support is that there is no pressure. They allowed me to play the game, using old habits to mask and cope. It allowed me to know other Veterans are struggling. Peer support allowed me to put that on a shelf and be a human being again.”

Peer support specialists help Veterans in crisis VAntage Point, Coast Guard Veteran Lavinia Jackson

If you join any support group, someone is there for you. If not then you may call them your friend, spouse, family member, or anyone else who is there for you to turn to.

Why would you ever think you should fight this on your own? So many found strength leaning on someone when they needed it, then being there when someone else did!

Alcoholics Anonymous, gives people a sponsor. Support groups all have someone there to help others. This is all there because it works. If you are a veteran and you get arrested, most states have Veterans Courts, where someone is assigned to help you get what you need to have another chance to recover. Some prisons have units where they put veterans all in together because it is understood that most of the time, the trouble started with putting their lives on the line and they have support with them. 

This is why the featured video today is Melissa Manchester, Just You And I!

Now if you think you should still fight to heal PTSD alone, you might way to rethink that one because it is probably not working for you.  Time to find out what will!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD

Just You And I

Melissa Manchester 

When your heroes go up in a puff,

And there's not enough to hang on to

And the ones you would count on to call

They all fall down all around you

Then you've got to believe there's more

It is the reason we're put here for

It's just you and I

When the legend's over - and we have just begun

We can look to each other to see us through

Just you and I

When a miracle's long overdue

And there's no one who's gonna come to guide you

So you keep looking up to the sky - wondering why

The clouds won't hide you

At the times when you're most afraid

That is the reason why dreams are made

It's just you and I

When the legend's over - and we have just begun

We can look to each other to see us through

Just you and I

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Carole Bayer Sager / Melissa Manchester / Melissa Toni Manchester

Just You and I lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Carlin America Inc 

A newly reimagined recording of Melissa’s early hit, “Just You And I”
Melissa Manchester’s latest single, a newly reimagined recording of her early hit, “JUST YOU AND I” is a Labor Day Week tribute to the essential workers and first responders who are getting us all through the coronavirus crisis. The Grammy Award winning singer/songwriter is joined by legendary saxophonist Gerald Albright and the young artists from Citrus College in this updated version of the 1976 Billboard charted classic.

September 8th, 2020 

One of my old videos from 2006....