Sunday will never be the same

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 15, 2021

Has your memory played tricks on you? Did you ever remember something that wasn't true, or at least not entirely true?

This morning an example of that happened to me. Usually I pick out the music for the featured video during the day depending on what the message is, if I already thought of it. Sometimes I'll hear a song on the radio and it changes my mood, or takes me back to a different time in my life. Other times, like this morning, a song will pop into my head. An old song I hadn't heard in a long time popped in and I was happy thinking about it. The beat was uplifting and I thought great day to feature it. That was until I looked up the lyrics to Spanky and Our Gang Sunday Will Never Be The Same. It wasn't a happy song.

Sunday Will Never Be the Same

Spanky and Our Gang

I remember Sunday morning

I would meet him at the park

We'd walk together hand in hand

Till it was almost dark

Now I wake up Sunday morning

Walk along the lane to find

Nobody waiting for me

Sunday's just another day

Sunday will never be the same

(Sunday will never be the same)

I lost my baby's heart

I must be back again

Sunny afternoons that made me feel so warm inside

Have turned as cold and gray as ashes

As I feel the embers die

No longer can I walk these paths for they have changed

I must be home the sun is gone and I think it's gonna rain

I remember children

Feeding flocks of pigeons

I remember sunshine and you were mine

Sunday will never be the same

Sunday will never be the same

Sunday will never be the same

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Terry Cashman / Gene Pistilli

Sunday Will Never Be the Same lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

That came out in 1967. I was really young. I've heard it a lot over the years, but it has been a long time. My mind focused on the music, which is really upbeat, but since the lyrics were forgotten, I didn't remember the sadness. So why is it so hard to remember things the other way around?

Sometimes when you remember the event or events that caused PTSD, all you can remember is the horrible parts. There were other parts that were a lot better, but the strongest memory is the one that took hold. You had some good things happen too. You could have had someone save you. Someone may have come to help you afterwards. More than likely, people you know showed up to see if they could help, to visit you, call you, or offer comfort in whatever way they could. The memories are all still there and you can make the better memories stronger than the bad ones.

Our minds also play tricks because every part of us is involved in the event. Our mind, body and spirit are all hit. Every sense we have absorbs whatever is there just as our eyes take it all in, even though we don't notice what is being recorded in our brains. That is why a smell can be a trigger of the event, or a sound (like with me) and even an anniversary date we do not consciously remember pops up and we are not connecting "then" to our life now.

You need to find some peace with the bad by going back to look at the good that came with it. Keep focusing on that. Those memories will get stronger than the bad ones.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

"there is a better life for me and you."

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 14, 2021

Are you letting PTSD make you miserable? (In this dirty old part of the city where the sun refused to shine) Do you think it is pointless to try to live a happier life? (People tell me there ain't no use in tryin') Why the hell would you believe them?

If you are sick and tired of hearing doom and gloom from people without a single clue about what is possible, then it is time to get out of that place of doubt and into a place of hope because "there is a better life for me and you."

Sometimes over the years, I tried to help someone who seemed to like being miserable. Never could understand someone actually wanting others to feel sorry for them. They treated PTSD like a contest, trying to beat someone else's story of what caused their PTSD. They were sucking all the oxygen out of the room. Other people, who had a hard time talking about their lives, ended up looking at the floor and remained silent. Most people don't want to talk about it even though they know they need to in order to begin to heal.

The worst part was, when people did try to talk, they were shut down. The "patients" in a lot of therapy sessions were forced to tell the their story over and over again and they relieved all the horrible moments, over and over again. The thing was, they were already doing that during flashbacks and nightmares. There was no closure in that type of treatment. Most groups worked a lot better if they were run by someone who did not let one dominate the entire session. Feeling safe to talk, starts to take power away from PTSD. The sooner you start, the sooner is loses power and the sooner you get happier!

Understanding that surviving caused PTSD, is half the battle. There should be no shame in surviving what happened to you. And there is certainly no reason to believe you have to suffer for surviving.

 
Today the featured video is The Animals We Got To Get Out Of This Place

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

We Got To Get Out Of This Place

The Animals

In this dirty old part of the city

Where the sun refused to shine

People tell me there ain't no use in tryin'

Now my girl, you're so young and pretty

And one thing I know is true

You'll be dead before your time is due, I know

Watch my daddy in bed a-dyin'

Watched his hair been turnin' grey

He's been workin' and slavin' his life away, oh yes I know it

And I've been workin' too, baby (yeah!)

Every night and day (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)

We gotta get out of this place

If it's the last thing we ever do

We gotta get out of this place

'Cause girl, there's a better life for me and you

Now my girl you're so young and pretty

And one thing I know is true, yeah

You'll be dead before your time is due, I know it

Watch my daddy in bed a-dyin'

Watched his hair been turnin' grey, yeah

He's been workin' and slavin' his life away

I know he's been workin' so hard

Every day baby (yeah!)

Whoa!

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)

We gotta get out of this place

If it's the last thing we ever do

We gotta get out of this place

Girl, there's a better life for me and you

Somewhere baby

Somehow I know it, baby

We gotta get out of this place

If it's the last thing we ever do

We gotta get out of this place

Girl, there's a better life for me and you

Believe me baby

I know it baby

You know it too

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil

We Gotta Get out of This Place lyrics © EMI Music Publishing 

bonus
House Of The Rising Sun

It's My Life

Glorious Victorious

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 13, 2021

What does it feel like since you survived whatever caused PTSD in you? Does it feel as if hope is being sucked right out of you? That you are surrounded by misery and suffering? Are you wondering why the hell you got up out of bed this morning? Or does it feel like you are just sucking up all the hope you can find to live like a survivor?

Isn't it time that you decided that a happier life is so much better than a sucky one?

You are the only one who can decide for yourself. No one else has the power to control what you are willing to do with the rest of your life. Everything you need to heal is already inside of you. All the qualities you had are still there. All the things that made you smile, feel joy and happiness are still there.

That is why there are two featured videos today. Glorious by Macklemore and One Little Victory by Rush. You can discover how glorious it is to be victorious. After all, that is exactly what you are. You are victorious over whatever caused PTSD. You walked away. It did not destroy you. Why let it destroy you now?

Make the choice to heal and be happy with the rest of your life. Learn what PTSD is and what it is doing so you can also learn how much power you do have over it.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

GLORIOUS

MACKLEMORE FEAT SKYLAR GREY

(OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

You know I'm back like I never left

Another sprint, another step

Another day, another breath

Been chasing dreams, but I never slept

I got a new attitude and a lease on life

And some peace of mind

Seek and I find I can sleep when I die

Wanna piece of the pie, grab the keys to the ride

And shit I'm straight

I'm on my wave, I'm on my wave

Get out my wake, I'm running late, what can I say?

I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave

And the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name

So when I leave here on this earth, did I take more than I gave?

Did I look out for the people or did I do it all for fame?

Legend it's exodus searching for euphoria

Trudging through the mud to find the present, no ignoring us

Got 20, 000 deep off in the street like we some warriors

My mama told me never bow your head, woo!

I feel glorious, glorious

Got a chance to start again

I was born for this, born for this

It's who I am, how could I forget?

I made it through the darkest part of the night

And now I see the sunrise

Now I feel glorious, glorious

I feel glorious, glorious

I'm feeling glorious

The crib looking Victorian (oh yes it is)

You know that we been going in

Since we hopped out that Delorean (Delorean, yeah we win)

En garde, things are just things

They don't make you who you are

Can't pack up a U-Haul and take it with you when you're gone

We posted on the porch, my family's glasses to the stars

My grandma smiling down on me like woo, that boy got bars

Okay, okay, yes I do

I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too

Another morning, a morning, don't let self get in my way

I got my breath, I got my faith and I remember why I came

I feel glorious, glorious

Got a chance to start again

I was born for this, born for this

It's who I am, how could I forget?

I made it through the darkest part of the night

And now I see the sunrise

Now I feel glorious, glorious

I feel glorious, glorious

We gon' be alright, put that on my life

When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine

We're planting a flag they don't understand

The world is up for grabs

We gon' be alright, put that on my life

When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine

We're planting a flag they don't understand

The world is up for grabs

I feel glorious, glorious

Got a chance to start again

I was born for this, born for this

It's who I am, how could I forget?

I made it through the darkest part of the night

And now I see the sunrise

Now I feel glorious, glorious

I feel glorious, glorious

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Kelly Claude / Guetta David / Tuinfort Giorgio H / Hafermann Holly B Glorious lyrics © Sony/atv Songs Llc, What A Publishing Limited, What A Publishing Ltd, Hipgnosis Songs Fund Limited

One Little Victory

Rush 

A certain measure of innocence

Willing to appear naive

A certain degree of imagination

A measure of make-believe

A certain degree of surrender

To the forces of light and heat

A shot of satisfaction

In a willingness to risk defeat

Celebrate the moment

As it turns into one more

Another chance at victory

Another chance to score

The measure of the moment

In a difference of degree

Just one little victory

A spirit breaking free

One little victory

The greatest act can be

One little victory

A certain measure of righteousness

A certain amount of force

A certain degree of determination

Daring on a different course

A certain amount of resistance

To the forces of the light and love

A certain measure of tolerance

A willingness to rise above

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

Celebrate the moment

As it turns into one more

Another chance at victory

Another chance to score

The measure of the moment

In a difference of degree

Just one little victory

A spirit breaking free

The greatest act can be

One little victory

The greatest act can be

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

Just one little victory

Just one little victory

One little victory

One little victory

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Lee / Peart / Lifeson

One Little Victory lyrics © Ole Core Music Publishing, Anthem Core Music Publishing 

#gloriousvictorious

coming out of the dark into healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 12, 2021

When you are suffering it can feel like a lonely place and you are surrounded by darkness. It sucks to get up in the morning when you know there will be yet another day of the same hell you had the day before and the day before that. 

When you know that relief is coming, the loneliness lifts and the darkness fades. Most Americans know what that feels like after this last horrible year dealing with the pandemic and all that came with it. Relief is coming and it won't be so lonely because families know they will be able to see people they care about very soon. All the darkness brought on by hopelessness started to fade because what we hoped for, has begun.

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

Gloria Estefan

I listened to the President last night and just now, reassure the people they have reason to feel as if they are coming out of the dark. He knows what pain is like, what broken hearts are like and what it is like to lose hope. But above all, he knows what it feels like when the suffering is coming to an end and we begin again.

The people working in hospitals know that things are about to turn around. All they saw before this was a never ending cycle of death and ambivalence. When the new treatments coming, they know they can save lives and there will be fewer people with their lives on the line. That level of stress on them has been almost unbearable, but someone they managed to go to work everyday for the sake of others. PTSD and depression rates went up for them. A worldwide effort put together 65 studies on healthcare workers during the pandemic and found the pandemic caused depression 21.7%, anxiety at 22.1% and PTSD at 21.5%. 

They understand what it is like for you too. Sadly more and more people understand what living with PTSD is like. The blessing is, there are more people to help them find hope now than ever before.

Gloria Estefan knows what it is like too. She knows what being a survivor is and that is why the song Coming Out Of The Dark is so powerful.

'Mayhem': Gloria Estefan remembers the 1990 bus accident that broke her back (USA Today)

Multi-Grammy winner Gloria Estefan is reliving the horror of a collision that left her temporarily unable to walk and her miraculous recovery for her new talk show, "Red Table Talk: The Estefans."

Wednesday's episode of the Facebook Watch series – which Estefan hosts with her daughter, Emily, and niece, Univision host Lili Estefan – mentally transports the "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" singer to a Pennsylvania highway in March 1990, en route to New York. Her husband, producer/musician Emilio, and their son Nayib were also on board.

Estefan, 63, was napping when an 18-wheeler rear-ended her tour bus, which she says "felt like an explosion," and threw her to the floor.

"I am looking around, and it is mayhem," she recalls. "Emilio is over me, wild-eyed, screaming, 'Are you OK?' He's covered in blood."

I use this song a lot because if people know that the worst times are coming to an end and there is reason to know that their hope was not wasted. It is the way I felt last night and today I wanted to share the power of this song with you. If you are tired of hearing it, forgive me but I'll never be tired of sharing it.

I came out of the dark many times and so can you!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Coming Out Of The Dark

Gloria Estefan

Why be afraid if I'm not alone?

Though life is never easy

The rest in unknown

And up to now for me it's been

Hands against stone

Spent each and every moment

Searching for what to believe

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

Coming out of the dark

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing with me

Starting again is part of the plan

And I'll be so much stronger

Holding your hand

Step by step, I'll make it through

I know I can

I may not make it easier

But I have felt you

Near all the way

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

(I see the light)

(I see the light)

I see the light (I see the light)

Coming out of the dark

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing with me

Ever (I stand on the rock)

I stand on the rock of your love

(Forever) ever

(And ever) and ever

Can't nobody stop me, watch me

(Forever) ever

(And ever) and ever

Stand on the rock

Of your love is all it takes

No matter what we face

Coming out of the dark

I see the light

I feel your love shining on me (shining)

(Shining) Yeah, shining on me (shining)

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing

You're sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (coming out of the dark)

I cannot be in the dark

Making it into the light, yeah

Your love's shining on me (shining)

Shining on me (I see the light)

Shining on me (I see the light)

(Shining, I see the light)

(Coming out of the dark)

I see the light

I see the light (I see the light)

(I see the light)

Shining, shining on me

(Shining, shining)

I didn't think that I could take it (shining)

But your love helped me to make it (coming out of the dark)

Coming out of the dark

I see the light now

Yes, I see the light

(Shining) (I see the light)

(Shining) (I see the light)

(Shining) (I see the light)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Gloria M. Estefan / Jon Secada / Emilio Estefan Jr.

Coming Out of the Dark lyrics © Foreign Imported Prod. And Publishing 

And the one I did for veterans.

When we grieve, we heal

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos
March 11, 2021 

A year ago, our lives changed. In the last year we have lost over 520,000 people. Almost 29 million citizens have been diagnosed with COVID-19 according to the CDC. Millions have lost their jobs. Millions of people have had to seek out food distribution locations to be able to eat. The thing is, we may never know the true numbers of people who have suffered significant mental health conditions.

The UK has been doing research on the mental health of hospital workers.

The 'Frontline-COVID study', published today in the peer-reviewed European Journal of Psychotraumatology, surveyed 1,194 HSCWs, who worked in UK hospitals, nursing or care homes and other community settings, to identify and compare the rates of mental health disorder across different job roles and places of work.

The research, carried out just after the UK's first wave of COVID between 27 May and 23 July, 2020, found that:

58% of HSCWs met the threshold for any mental health disorder
22% met criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
47% had clinically significant anxiety
47% had depression.

With so many months from then to now, it is easy to understand that the numbers are higher and even easier to understand that the numbers here in the US are much higher.

Health care workers facing a mental health crisis, 60 Minutes

Nurses, doctors and others on the frontlines of the pandemic are facing a health crisis of their own, many feeling depressed, some considering therapy. Lowery spoke with health care workers across the country, including in Georgia's rural northeast, where one hospital is still grappling with the deadliest wave of COVID-19 they've ever seen.

Erine Raybon-Rojas, a critical care doctor at Northeast Georgia Medical Center, said her workload is still more than double what it was pre-pandemic -- with no relief in sight.

"Have there been moments that have felt like you're reaching a breaking point or have been difficult – where you have been overwhelmed?" Lowery asked Raybon-Rojas in an excerpt from the story that aired on "CBS This Morning."

"Every day," Raybon-Rojas said. "It's not uncommon for us to take a minute to go cry, I mean, I cry in my office all the time… Everything you do is about getting people better. And a lot of times it just doesn't happen. The lack of being able to help someone in their most vulnerable moments is the injury. The fact that it happens over and over and over again is what I think really causes the-- the damage."

Most of us know what it is like to lose someone we love. It feels like a part of us has been taken away. Some people may give you time to grieve but then end up telling you to get over it. They don't know what you are going through and they do not deserve the right to tell you when it is time to stop grieving. There is no timeline on healing. Everyone does it in their own time, and some people, never really get over the loss, but they do recover to a certain point. 

Do not fight your feelings. Don't judge yourself by thinking you should be stronger than what your heart is telling you that you need to do. If you need to cry, then cry. Honor your feelings. Talk about what you need to talk about. If it is how much you miss them, then do it. If you need to talk about how much you loved them or how much they suffered, then do it. If you don't have someone to talk to, then write it down, or find a support group. The more you honor your feelings, the more room you have inside your heart to let in warmer memories of them.

If you are a healthcare worker, you have been through things most of us will never understand. You have been a blessing. You were there to help save those you could. You were also there to comfort those you could not save, especially when their families could not be there in their final moments. You need to honor your feelings too. If you are angry because too many people did not take this seriously and only thought about themselves, then honor your anger too. You have no control over what other people do but only about what you do with your own life.

Hopefully, this time next year, we'll all be back to whatever normal was to us and we will remember all the goodness, all those we loved and those we miss, with warmer memories to comfort us.

Today the featured song is Peter Gabriel I Grieve because he put into words what most people cannot find to express their own pain. I hope it comforts you and lets you know that it is OK to grieve.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I did this one in 2008 for National Guard troops with the song I Grieve.

I Grieve

Peter Gabriel

It was only one hour ago

It was all so different then

Nothing yet has really sunk in

Looks like it always did

This flesh and bone

Is just the way that we are tied in

But there's no one home

I grieve, for you

You leave, me

So hard to move on

Still loving what's gone

They say life carries on

Carries on and on and on and on

The news that truly shocks

Is the empty, empty page

While the final rattle rocks

It's empty, empty cage

And I can't handle this

I grieve, for you

You leave, me

Let it out and move on

Missing what's gone

They say life carries on

They say life carries on and on and on

Life carries on in the people I meet

In everyone that's out on the street

In all the dogs and cats

In the flies and rats

In the rot and the rust

In the ashes and the dust

Life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Just the car that we ride in

The home we reside in

The face that we hide in

The way we are tied in

As life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief

Or did I believe this dream?

Now I will find relief

I grieve

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Peter Gabriel

I Grieve lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC