Calling all angels

Wounded Times

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 15, 2021

Today my heart is broken. Two reports about the suicides in the military and veterans community reminded me of the reason I had to give up working with both groups after 38 years. I could not fight alone anymore. Telling the truth and saying what had to be said to save their lives was no longer possible without ripping my heart out on and daily basis.

Despite Congress' efforts and an ever-rising VA budget, there's no evidence the federal government has put a dent in the veteran suicide crisis, with the VA's data showing little change in the suicide numbers each year. (Military.com)

Military suicides are also higher. "The report from the Department of Defense shows our military saw a spike in people taking their own lives. In total, 377 active duty troops took their own life in 2020, across all branches of the military. This is an increase of 8% from the same time in 2019." but when you actually read the report, you notice that the numbers in the following article do not include the 194 "Reserve Components" that are included in the Department of Defense Suicide Report. 511, which has been consistently the average since 2012. If you find that hard to believe, since the media hasn't told you that part, then look at the whole chart on the link and add the two totals together.

"Your mental health impacts more than just you, it impacts everybody around you. And those are things we have to be aware of. You may not want to get help for you but what about for your daughter or for your son. What about for your mother or your brother who has to deal with the things that you were going through," said Williams." (Porsche Williams, the founder of Restore Life Global WUSA9 News)

It became all too clear that the only groups getting support were ranting about "raising awareness" that they were killing themselves. No plans, no facts, just saying it was happening and they ended up getting all the support while leaving people reminded that others gave up too. As if that was going to work when they needed reasons to get up in the morning. They needed hope and they needed the truth, but these groups did not have a clue what they were talking about...but they sure knew how to get attention for themselves.

I do not want to be contacted by one more group wanting money for what they do with results like this. No one should be giving them any attention at all when the results has proven over and over again, hasn't "put a dent in the crisis."

I asked for help from many groups and offered to let them take the credit for what I was willing to show them how to do. They turned me down. Over and over again, I tried to contact members of Congress but they would not listen. I wrote and wrote even more, but thousands of articles later, none of them did much good. Wounded Times has over 4.8 million page views, yet there are few people telling the truth about what has been going on. I have over 700 videos on YouTube and few bother to watch them or share them. 

I am willing to get back into this fight again but only if angels decide to fight with me. I won't fight this alone again. My heart cannot take it. I know what it is like to save lives and trust me, if I can do it, it isn't rocket science. It requires knowledge and doing it for the right reasons. I am calling on angels to help me this time, so all of us can help them heal.

Calling All Angels

Train 

I need a sign to let me know you're here

All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere

I need to know that things are gonna look up

'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I need a sign to let me know you're here

'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear

I want a reason for the way things have to be

I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear

While private eyes solve marriage lies 'cause we don't talk for years

And football teams are kissing Queens and losing sight of having dreams

In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: James Stafford / Scott Underwood / Pat Monahan / Charles Colin

Calling All Angels lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

I started doing videos on PTSD in 2006. The first suicide awareness I did was in 2007 because I thought all that people needed to save lives, was to know it was happening. Putting the video and post together, ripped my heart out, but it was important. I wrote a book about suicides tied to military in 2013 proving all the money and "efforts" did not work, and why they did not work. It didn't do any good.

I did the video Alive Day in 2012 when the reports started coming out. This is what they need to know and this is how we do it!

If you are raising awareness about them killing themselves, you are part of the reason they are gone!

And you know you can survive

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 14, 2021

"And you know you can survive" are some powerful words to hear when you don't think you can. When everyone you know will not, or cannot, offer you any hope or support, those words empower you to do more than just survive. They let you know you have the power to do that!

Today the featured video is Mariah Carey, Hero. If you ended up with PTSD because of your job, risking your life for others, or sacrificing for the sake of others, you already know what a hero is, but you are the last one to claim that title for yourself. If you have PTSD because of your "job" then it was much more than a just a job. It was your vocation. Average people do not take those jobs. You are above average.

I used this song in a video from a long time ago, PTSD Hero After War for members of the military, with I'll Stand By You from The Pretenders. In this war against PTSD, you can also be a hero to someone else fighting their own war to reclaim their life. Once you heal, you can stand by them and show them the way. You can encourage them when they have no courage left. You can empower them when they cannot find enough power to get up out of bed.

If your job caused it, understand that humans are not built to withstand the constant onslaught of traumatic events. Most of the people you risked your life for, ended up with PTSD from the event you responded to...one event for them but it was one of many for you.

The thing is, as human as you are, if God put it into your soul to do that kind of job, He also equipped you with everything you need to heal from it. It is built into your emotional core and that core is stronger than others, or you wouldn't have been able to do that job for more than a little while. Most of the people I worked with over the years, had done the "job" for many years and faced so many events they were not even sure which one hit them the hardest.

Now think about what kind of hero you can be to others just by telling your story and sharing your own struggles with them. You are not done serving others even if you had to give up the job that caused PTSD. There are over 8 million Americans with PTSD, that is known about. There are many more who have it by have no idea what it is going on with them and they have not sought out help. You can reach them to and encourage them to seek help to take back their lives from PTSD too.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Hero

Mariah Carey

There's a hero

If you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid

Of what you are

There's an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

It's a long road

When you face the world alone

No one reaches out a hand

For you to hold

You can find love

If you search within yourself

And that emptiness you felt

Will disappear

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you, oh, oh

Lord knows

Dreams are hard to follow

But don't let anyone

Tear them away, hey yeah

Hold on

There will be tomorrow

In time you'll find the way

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in you

Mmm, that a hero lies in you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Mariah Carey / Walter Afanasieff

Hero lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Royalty Network 

PTSD Hero After War

If PTSD had an anthem...it should be HELP!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 12, 2021

Most people start singing a song whenever they hear it. They can't help it. It makes them happy to sing it. It is as infectious as it was when it was released in 1965! The song, naturally is the Beatles HELP! It was so popular, they even had a movie with that title. So why is it so much easier for everyone to sing that song, than it is to do it?

If PTSD had an anthem, it should be HELP! How much clearer does it have to be? Why the hell should anyone have a problem asking for help when they need it but have no problem, if they can carry a tune or not, to sing this song loud and clear? Has that ever dawned on anyone?

"And now my life has changed in oh so many ways"

Isn't that what having PTSD is like? Your life does change in so many ways. The thing is, getting help can change your life for the better. Wouldn't it make more sense to actually ask for help to be happier, than it is to settle for being happy singing this song for a few minutes? 

Common sense needs to come back into the conversation we've been having about PTSD because we're all tied of hearing the doom and gloom. All that has done is tell us that we should never expect to be happy again. Where is the hope in that? Someone said that asking for help is a sign of weakness but all that meant was the hope the had was weak and they wanted everyone else to be miserable too!

Isn't it time to stop singing the same tune and start asking someone for help in real life? Someone who can actually help you? Asking for help is normal. It is human. Won't you please, please, ask for help when you need it?

UPDATE I am adding closed captioning to the videos.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

HELP

The Beatles

I need somebody

(Help!) not just anybody

(Help!) you know I need someone

Help!

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured (but now these days are gone)

(And now I find) Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways (and now my life has changed)

My independence seems to vanish in the haze

But every now and then I feel so insecure (I know that I)

I know that I just need you like I've never done before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger, so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured (but now these days are gone)

(And now I find) now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, ooh

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney

Help! lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Downtown Music Publishing

and the movie HELP

the song I needed to hear

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 12, 2021

We haven't talked much about why music is so important when you are trying to heal PTSD. It has the power to change your mood. Sometimes you hear a song and you feel worse than you did. That is the time to find something else to listen to. It doesn't mean it is a bad song or you suddenly don't like it. It just means that is not the song you need to hear at that moment in your life.

There were a lot of times when my life sucked the most I'd hear a song and felt like the last thread of hope was being cut off. Other times I'd hear the same song and have a totally different reaction to it. Sometimes a sad song would comfort me, but other times it would remind me of why I felt sad in the first place and then felt even worse. Music is all relative to, not just the mood you are in, but the mood you want to get into.

Today the featured video is Dobie Grey, Drift Away! "When my mind is free," and I can drift away with the song it can be wonderful. This morning I heard it doing errands. I got so carried away by it, I almost forgot where we were going. It was a song I not only wanted to hear, I needed to hear. It took me out of my life for a little while and changed my mood for the better. We ended up enjoying the rest of the day.

There are some songs that seem more powerful because the singers are famous people. You know they are rich and probably have everything they want, but they manage to sing about being lonely. Either they are drawing from a time in their lives when they were lonely or, they very well could have been lonely when they recorded it. You can always tell when the words are more than just words to them.

Listen to songs you need to hear depending on where you are emotionally and can either find comfort or be uplifted by them. If they are making you feel worse, then change the station or find another one from your music collection. The point is to be connected in a positive way to the song and disconnected from negativity feeding your emotions.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Drift Away

Dobie Gray 

Day after day I'm more confused

But I look for the light through the pourin' rain

You know, that's a game, that I hate to loose

I'm feelin' the strain, ain't it a shame

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

Beginin' to think, that I'm wastin' time

And I don't understand the things I do

The world outside looks so unkind

I'm countin' on you, you can carry me through

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

And when my mind is free

You know your melody can move me

And when I'm feelin' blue

The guitars come through to soothe me

Thanks for the joy you've given me

I want you to know I believe in your song

And rhythm, and rhyme, and harmony

You helped me along, you're makin' me strong

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Won't you take me away

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mentor Williams

Drift Away lyrics © Almo Music Corp. 

and life showed compassion

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 11, 2021

When we survive the causes of PTSD, we tend to begin to believe that we are not worth loving. There are times when thinking we can be happy again, is like insulting happiness itself. We tell ourselves at least we didn't die and maybe that's all we get out of this life we have. Who can love us when we forgot what it was like to love ourselves? For me, I didn't even want to try again. 

When the cause of PTSD in you is domestic violence, it is the ultimate betrayal.

Some love stories don't have a good ending. I was beaten up and beaten down because I loved the wrong man. My ex-husband tried to kill me and then stalked me for over a year, that I knew of, but it turned out he stalked me for a lot longer than that. I gave him everything I had and he betrayed me. When I thought I'd never be able to trust anyone again, I fell in love with a Vietnam veteran.

He was married before but their marriage ended on good terms. When we decided to get married, I had to get in touch with my ex-husband so that I could get married in the church again. The next day he walked over to my fiancé and said, "Hi I'm Peter and you're marrying my wife." That was when I figured out he was stalking me a lot longer than I thought he did.

The nightmares I had pretty much ended after a couple of years but when this happened, and I knew he was still stalking me, that started the panic attacks, paranoia and everything else that comes with PTSD, even though I didn't understand I had it too. Mine was so much different than anything I had studied and anything the veteran I planned on sharing my life with was going through. His was a constant battle but for me, it was only when I heard the sound of muscle cars. Sometimes it lasted hours, other times it was days, but then the symptoms were gone and I got on with my life.

When I started to write about PTSD, it was all tied to Vietnam veterans. I thought I understood them because I listened with empathy. I had no clue it was because of my own experiences with facing death.

We hired a DJ and I was going through the songs I wanted him to play. None of them really reflected what happened in my life before that day. Then I heard the song on the radio and I knew it was our song. The song I picked for our song was One In A Million by Larry Graham.

One in a Million You

Larry Graham

Love had played its games on me so long

I started to believe I'd never find anyone

Doubt had tried to convince me to give in

Said, "You can't win"

But one day the sun came a shinin' through

The rain had stopped and the skies were blue

And oh, what a revelation to see

Someone was saying "I love you" to me

A one in a million

Chance of a lifetime

And life showed compassion

And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"

A one in a million you

I was a lonely man with empty arms to fill

Then I found a piece of happiness to call my own

And life is worth livin' again

For to love you, to me, is to live

A one in a million

Chance of a lifetime

And life showed compassion

And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"

A one in a million you

A one in a million

Chance of a lifetime

And life showed compassion

And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"

One in a million you

A one in a million you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Sam Dees

One in a Million You lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Everyone wants to share their life with someone. Sometimes we get lucky and the love lasts a lifetime. Other times, the pain they cause can never go away until the love we are given is more powerful than the love that was abused.

It wasn't easy to get over what my ex did to me "but for every moment I spent hurting, there were moments I spent loving..."the man who taught me that some love stories are stronger than we ever dreamed they could be. Our's has been a love story that started in 1982 when both of us found someone to not just say I love you...but proved it too!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

You can read what it was like for me when I didn't know that PTSD was a battle I had to fight for my own life too. For The Love Of Jack His War, My Battle