make good times even better

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 2, 2021

Happiness sneaks up on you! All of a sudden, all the things you used to enjoy seem even better than before. "Good times never seemed so good!"

That is what it is like when you come out of the darkest hell and heal PTSD. No longer trapped by misery, doubt, paranoia, feeling as if you have something to hide and realize that life can be better than before. Maybe it is because even though you wouldn't admit it, you missed feeling happy, being with friends, doing fun things and yes, smiling without feeling as if you had to force it.

You end up with strange reactions to things you thought you'd never care about again. When we lived in Florida, there were some spatular sunrises and sunsets. Once in a while my husband would go out to the pool deck and scream my name. I'd go running to him and he'd be pointing up at the sky, with the amazed look of a child seeing it for the first time.

Right now, for me, I feel like a kid when I get to do something as simple as get my hair cut, hug people again and see smiling faces.

The entire world got a lesson on what trauma is by living through their own trauma and it was different for everyone. Some people lost all they owned, others lost everyone they loved. Some people were forced to work from home, others lost their jobs. That is what the darkness of PTSD is like. 

When more people go vaccinated, like us, things started to look more hopeful. People started to do the right thing. Instead of just complaining about what they couldn't do, more and more people decided they could do their part so they would be able to do what they wanted to do safely. We've seen the numbers go down on the sickness and death counts, just as we've seen the numbers go up on the vaccinated side.

That is what healing is! It is what it is like to heal PTSD too. You can make good times even better because now you know what you missed. You won't take it for granted anymore and when it sneaks up on you, you get back hope of more good times and good feelings.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Sweet Caroline

Neil Diamond

Where it began, I can't begin to knowing

But then I know it's growing strong

Was in the spring

And spring became the summer

Who'd have believed you'd come along

Hands, touching hands

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

But now I

Look at the night and it don't seem so lonely

We filled it up with only two

And when I hurt

Hurting runs off my shoulders

How can I hurt when holding you

One, touching one

Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they never would

Oh no, no

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Sweet Caroline

I believe they never could

Sweet Caroline

Good times never seemed so good

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Neil Diamond

Sweet Caroline lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, DistroKid 

"And since I lost you, it feels like years"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 1, 2021

Relationships are hard under any circumstances. Different personalities, thoughts, needs and wants. They require a lot of work. It is hard to stay and can be hard to leave. If you cared about someone, but felt you had to cut them out of your life, it is hard. What makes it worse is, when you discover you were wrong. Being in a relationship with someone with PTSD is hard. It is damn near impossible when they refuse to get help. It is hell when neither of you know what it is!

A lot of people have spilt up with someone they cared about because there was no hope of restoring a normal relationship, or a functioning one. I've talked to a lot of people over the years who were beating themselves up for ending the relationship...most of the time, their marriages. When they realized they were dealing with PTSD in the one they ended up cutting out of their lives, they try to reconnect. 

It has happened, and there were a lot of happy endings with relationships restored, even if they were different. Sometimes there were other marriages that followed, but at least they were talking. That is a great thing if the couple had kids. Sometimes the couple decided to get re-married because love was still there.

Sometimes it is too late for any of it and regrets cannot be fixed. They can only be forgiven. If you didn't know what PTSD was, and tried to get back in touch with someone, forgive yourself. Understand that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Then learn all you can about it to give you the tools to do that. Knowing the cause and what it does will help you understand them, and why you reacted the way you did.

If you are the one with PTSD and you ended the relationship because you didn't understand it, take the time to understand all you can about it now so that you'll understand why they treated you the way they did, as well as why you treated them the way you did. If they won't talk to you, forgive them and yourself.

Today the featured song is The Beatles, You Won't See Me.

You Won’t See Me

The Beatles

While it may be too late to see them...it is never too late to forgive them or yourself.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

When I call you up

Your line's engaged

I have had enough

So act your age

We have lost the time

That was so hard to find

And I will lose my mind

If you want see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

I don't know why you (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

Should want to hide (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I can't get through (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

My hands are tied (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I won't want to stay (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

I don't have much to say (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

But I'd get turned away (Ooh-ooh, La la-la)

And you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you want see me

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Time after time

You refuse to even listen

I wouldn't mind

If I knew what I was missing (no, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't)

Though the days are few (Ooooh, La la-la)

They're filled with tears (Ooooh, La la-la)

And since I lost you (Ooooh, La la-la)

It feels like years (Ooooh, La la-la)

Yes, it seems so long (Ooooh, La la-la)

Girl, since you've been gone (Ooooh, La la-la)

And I just can' go on (Ooooh, La la-la)

If you won't see me

(You won't see me)

You won't see me

(You won't see me)

Yeah!

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Ooooh la la-la

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Mccartney / John Lennon

You Won’t See Me lyrics © Sony/atv Tunes Llc 

Thank Vietnam Veterans for healing #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.

When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.

"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"

No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.

Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years

Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Oh, crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be okay

So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)

Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)

The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

Take your passion and make it happen

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 29, 2021

"First when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream, that your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind." The featured video today is What A Feeling from Flashdance. Listening to this song made me very happy because I've been thinking a lot about retiring. Next year, it will be forty years since I had a dream of making things better for people with PTSD. That's a long time for anyone!

I feel so much better thinking about it now because of one of the groups I discovered, using music, a message and trying to save people from suicide. Sounds Of Saving is doing the work I do and doing it a lot better than I ever could.

Songs that save lives
Music has been clinically proven to have a positive impact on mental health. The right song can affect our psychobiological stress system and create feelings of motivation, happiness and relaxation.
We think the world should know that music can fight mental illness.

"Take your passion and make it happen." That is what came into my head when I was reading and listening to what they are doing. When you are passionate about something, share it. If you are an artist and find a new way of doing something, do it. You may not be the best artist, but you can inpsire a better one and the beauty gets out into the world. You may love to write but never had the support or someone to publicize your work (been there and done that) but your words can inspire others and the world changes.

I often think about all the others who were involved with defeating PTSD long before me and wonder how they feel about what ended up happening because of "slow glowing dream" of healing they started when there was nothing before they came along.

The goal is to save lives and help people find a new way to live, healing instead of suffering. With Sounds Of Saving out there, along with a lot of other groups, they will make it happen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

Flashdance...What A Feeling

Irene Cara 

First when there's nothing

But a slow glowing dream

That your fear seems to hide

Deep inside your mind

All alone I have cried

Silent tears full of pride

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Well, I hear the music

Close my eyes, feel the rhythm

Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

Now I know, I got the chance

To reach the top, is so intense

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Now I hear the music

Close my eyes I am rhythm

In a flash it takes hold

Of my heart

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

I feel the passion, deep inside

I got strength, I got pride

In a world made of steel

Made of stone

Dancing, till the end of this night

Like now or never, got strength and pride

When I feel the music I'm losing control

Of my mind, my body, my heart and my soul

Let's go, make this dream come true

For me and for you, we can dance right through

You can have it all, there's no price to pay

Your feelings will show you the way

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

Take your passion (what a feeling) and make it happen (beings believing)

Pictures come alive you could dance right through your life

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

What a feeling (what a feeling), beings believing (beings believing)

What a feeling 

I can have it all now I'm dancing for my life

What a feeling

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Irene Cara / Giorgio Moroder / Keith Forsey

Flashdance...What A Feeling lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc 

For all the brave and the souls who went before us

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 28 2021

It is Memorial Day weekend and I always get reflective. My Dad and all my uncles, first generation Americans, fought in 2 wars. My husband's Dad and uncles, also first generation Americans, fought in WWII, and he fought in Vietnam.

They were all raised to understand how important it was to fight for something they believed in. They believed in this country. Each one of them paid a price for their service. Some of them lost buddies. Each year, we would go to parades and cemeteries to acknowledge their service. When I was young, I never thought about the day when I would to go cemeteries to visit their graves.

There is so much we can learn by what they did and what they did it for.  They did it for each other, for their families and for the future. Please forgive me if the reflections I have had over the last few months bother you but considering how the majority of the American people feel, I am no different.

While this nation seems to be one way, the truth is, only some are. Those who want answers and accountability, are the majority, but for years everyone assumed I was a Republican because I associated with them in veterans groups. I never felt free to say what I believed. My job was to help veterans and families with PTSD and I was forced to put that first.

I had to listen to them saying how much they hated Democrats. Tell all kinds of lies they believed were true and then pretend that they were not political when they wanted new members.

The thing is, my Dad, my uncles were all Democrats. My Mom and aunts were. Yet I had to hear what the people I spent so much time with actually thought about the people I loved the most....sad. I had to listen to them talk about how much they would have hated the people I loved...and how much they would have hated me. 

No matter what I did to help people, including them, none of that mattered as soon as I stopped being silent and said what I thought. None of them ever thought about how what they said all those years hurt me, or made me feel. 

This is why today the featured video is Change, Christina Aguilera.

If you have PTSD, especially if you have PTSD, taking back your life means being able to speak your mind. Being free to express yourself is a real freedom and generation after generation of men and women risked their lives to protect that right. Some of them were Republican and some, like my family, were Democrats. None of that mattered when they were serving side by side and willing to die for those they were with. Today, somehow that changed into something I no longer recognize as such, especially after what happened at the Senate today when only 6 Republicans voted for the investigation into what happened when the Capital itself was attacked.

Freedom is empowering, but only if you use it. So when you hear someone in your life, talk about how much they hate, talk about those you loved and honor that love. Do it "for all the brave souls who went before us" and then, if necessary, walk away from them. You do not need that kind of oppression in your life.  There was a time when I would have said to just set the political divide aside, but those days are long gone. One day, we may return to a time when differences made us stronger because we valued each other instead of constantly hearing how much we are hated for what we believe.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

This is how you #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife 

Change

Christina Aguilera

When I was young I would look in the mirror

Didn't know it then but now it couldn't be clearer

I remember being filled with such wonder

Before learning that the world could be harsher

Who

Who you love or the color of your skin

Or the place that you were born and grew up in

Shouldn't decide how you will be treated

Cause we're all the same when everybody's breathing

Waiting for a change to set us free

Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me

Waiting for hope to come around

Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found

Waiting for a change,

Waiting for a change

Change, change...

For all the brave and the souls who went before us

Stand tall be proud and lift your voices

Let 'em know who we are and our choices

And one day we won't have to sing this chorus

Waiting for a change to set us free

Waiting for the day when you can be you and I can be me

Waiting for hope to come around

Waiting for the day when hate is lost and love is found

Waiting for a change,

Waiting for a change

Change, change...

Hold on

Waiting for a change

Change

When I was young I would look in the mirror

Didn't see it then but now it couldn't be clearer

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Christina Aguilera / Martin Terefe / Jake Hagood / Florian Reutter

Change lyrics © West Eight Music Publishing, Super Big Music