Merry Christmas! While it seems there isn't much to be merry about this year, there is if you look for it.
Maybe you didn't get what you wanted, or you were not able to get what someone else wanted. Maybe you have so many worries that feeling as if you are supposed to be celebrating, seems like torture. How do you celebrate Christmas when it feels like just when you thought this year couldn't get any worse....it did?
HOPE! That is what Christmas is supposed to be all about. Listen to the Christmas songs we all grew up with. (Not the funny ones I've been putting up the last few days.) Did you notice that most of them are about hope?
Between the Birth in the manger and the crucifixion on the Cross, Jesus lived a life of awesomeness! We read all about His miracles, but we tend to forget how much He suffered.
Yet with even more evidence of His suffering, He lived His life serving others, preaching of God's love, performing miracles, giving hope to those who had forgotten what hope in their hearts felt like, and proving to them they were loved!
One of the greatest gifts He gave was teaching them the importance of forgiving. It was not for the sake of those who hurt Him, or those who hurt you, but more about giving yourself a gift.
Jesus didn't let what others did to Him, stop Him from being true to what He knew was right. He didn't hate those He was willing to die for, even after they betrayed them. He asked His Father to forgive them, because they had no idea what they were doing.
If we hang onto those who hurt us, the wrong done to us, then we rob ourselves of all the good that could replace what is harmful to us. Forgive others and take away the power they retain in your heart. They do don't deserved to remain there.
Understand that if you are doing the right thing, then it is their problem, not yours. If you did the wrong thing to them, apologize to them. If they accept it, then all is well. If they do not, then it is again their problem.
If you are having a hard time forgiving, then pray for the strength to do it, because Jesus knows what it is like to be you!
My job has been to help people understand how much power they do have over PTSD, give them hope of healing and then get them to go to professionals who can offer more help than I can. If they fear it, they will not seek help. That is why the tagline of PTSD Patrol is Clearing The Way to #TakeBackYourLife.
That is the earliest post I could find that was still live online. While it goes back to 2005, I started working on PTSD online in 1993. I started writing about it in 1984, 2 years after researching it began for me, and a lifetime of surviving events. So far, it has been over 10 events, not counting the hurricanes I went through while living in Florida. I know what it does from living through them but I know more from living with my husband and leaning all I could about how to change our lives.
When the Pulse Nightclub massacre happened, I was not far away, and remember what happened, how people responded with love after this act of hate destroyed so many lives. The thing is, it kept destroying lives, including those of the first responders.
I was only able to help a few of them, because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I posted, my work was hard to find. To this day, whenever I read about people suffering with PTSD, instead of healing from it, my heart breaks!
Don't let more hearts break because they think there is no hope for them after surviving something that could have killed them. Help me give them the information and support they need so they get on the right road to find the help they need from groups and providers!
What The World Needs Now
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No not just for some, but for everyone
Lord, we don't need another mountain
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross
Enough to last 'til the end of time
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some, but for everyone
Lord, we don't need another meadow
There are cornfields and wheatfields enough to grow
There are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine
Oh listen, Lord, if you want to know
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some, oh, but just for every, every, everyone
'What The World Needs Now Is Love’ is the charity single sung by Broadway for Orlando, an all-star group of artists from the theatre and pop world: Sara Bareilles, Idina Menzel, Audra McDonald, Gloria Estefan, Carole King, Sarah Jessica Parker, and many more.
The single was created to honor the victims of the Orlando shooting massacre at the Pulse Nightclub.
100% of the proceeds from the sale of the song will benefit the LGBT Community Center of Central Florida.
This may make you think I'm insane, but if you've been reading these posts or watching the videos....you already figured that one out.
When things were really hard, I could't talk to my friends, because they didn't want know what PTSD was. I would listen to them complain about the finest things, and get so upset as if they were complaining about something enormous...and I'd walk away knowing the difference between ego being bent out of shape, and what it was like to see someone you love suffering.
I couldn't talk to my family as much as I wanted to, because they'd usually listen, then tell me I should get a divorce. There were times when I couldn't brush off their lousy advice, so I wouldn't even open the door to it happening.
I would go for rides and listen to the radio. Most songs are love songs, which was something I didn't really want to hear, even the ones about love gone bad, didn't comfort me.
Then I found myself singing them to heaven. All my life, faith was as natural as breathing. I knew I could talk to Jesus no matter what I was going through, because of everything He went through.
One of the songs that gave me comfort, was Gloria Estefan, I See Your Smile, especially this part.
'Cause I know I have to do this
Would you hold my hand right through it
'Cause when I close my eyes
I still can see your smile
It's bright enough to light my life
Out of my darkest hour
Please believe it's true
When I tell you I love you
It was written about the relationship she had with her husband in the beginning, but for me, it reminds of my relationship with my husband as much as it did with the one I had to Jesus.
I wasn't alone when I talked to Him. I could feel His smile and find peace in my soul, so I knew I was loved. He was the Light in my darkest hours because He filled me with hope.
No easy days, but He made it easier. No quick miracles, but He gave me strength and patience until mini-miracles turned into big ones.
He guided me to where I could learn about what my husband was going through, and what I went through. I gained the power to change by learning what was possible and how to find peace with what was impossible to change. Songs like this got us through all these years....we met in 1982.
Find something that gives you comfort, even if you have to tweak the meaning for what you need out of it.
There are so many things that get left off the list of things to think about during Christmas. Something always gets left off the list. Wrapping gifts, but forgot to buy tags. Wrote out the Christmas cards, but forgot to buy stamps. Buy toys for the kids but since most of them are electronic, they do no good unless you remembered to buy batteries.
You may plan the meal out perfectly but if you left something off the grocery list, the chances are, you'll have to order take out.
Things that started out with good intentions, can end up causing problems. So many things can happen to "ruin" Christmas in normal years, but this year is not a "normal" one for anyone.
The question is, how can not buying something ruin a day to honor a gift that was given in love and free to all who wanted it?
This is supposed to be about honoring the gift from God when He gave the world His Son. The Son Who came to tell the people they were loved and worthy of the Life brought to them.
Oh sure, Christ's life was sent to be sacrificed for all of us, but the life He lived between that day in Bethlehem and the day in Golgotha, He gave the gifts of love, compassion, mercy, forgiveness and hope. He was the Son of God, but even He asked for help to fulfill His mission. He was homeless as He traveled from town to town giving the people the Good News and healing the sick.
From the Bible we know there is nothing that He did not encounter the rest of us live with, including being betrayed, abandoned and abused. He knew what it was like to go hungry too. Christ also knew what it was like to not have everything needed to celebrate a wedding when they ran out of wine, so His first public miracle was turning water into wine. He also knew what it was like to cry.
So why is it that when we run out of faith, and gifts given to us, we never seem appreciate them because we failed to plan on needing them?
Life is hard enough but we make it harder when something that was given to us is put into a a box that is taken out a couple of times a year but collects dust the rest of it. It is a living gift that needs to be fed but we end up letting it go hungry, then wonder why it died.
Time to put this gift on your list so that you can heal your soul and ease your heart. The greatest gifts are not the ones you buy, but the ones you create and appreciate.
What you need to heal PTSD, is there. What you need to be happier, is there. What you need to be a gift to those you love is there. All you have to do is open it up and be open to what you can gain by the greatest Gift the world has ever known.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
You Say
Song by Lauren Daigle
I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know, ooh oh
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, ooh oh
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh, I believe
Taking all I have and now I'm layin' it at Your feet
You'll have every failure God, You'll have every victory, ooh oh
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh, You say I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
Oh, I believe (I), yes, I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe (oh)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Lauren Daigle / Paul Brendon Mabury
Wonder what it is like when you begin to heal what PTSD has harmed?
"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices"
When does this begin?
"...and the soul felt its worth"
Whenever I have to say what my favorite Christmas song is, it is O Holy Night, because I can listen to it all year round. We just celebrate the Birth of Christ on December 25 but the date He was actually born was not in the Bible. Scholars point to the fact about where He was born and say it was in the Spring, which would make a lot of sense. After all, we know that the Spring is when the world renews life.
"For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn"
And then we see a new and glorious morning, when we are actually happy we have another day ahead of us, instead of dreading it.
But how do you get to the point where your soul feels its worth? When you've done and said horrible things, had terrible thoughts, it is hard to think about that day, How do get right with God? By faith and knowing that price was paid for long before you were even born.
To me it doesn't really matter when Christ was born. I know He was and why He was born. I know how He lived, what He taught, how He died and why He died, just as I know He came back to prove that He was who He said He was....the Son Of God.
Believing that, lets us know that our souls were worth all of what He went through to save us!
When you have PTSD, you were saved. Saved by people who came to help you, because you were worth it. Saved by people who came to help you afterwards, because you were worth it. And you have everything you need to heal already inside of you, especially if you got hit by PTSD because you risked your life for someone else.
There is nothing you cannot be forgiven for but the hardest one to get forgiveness from is yourself. Once you do that, then you believe you are worth being happy about being healed.
You live a different life. More compassionate, understanding, kinder, more hopeful and have more patience for others. You love more deeply.
"O hear the angels' voices"
Because He appeared so your soul could feel its worth!
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
O holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world, in sin and error pining
'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angels' voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night
O night divine
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angels' voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night divine (O night divine)
Ooh, yes it was (O night divine)
Yeah, that is that night of our dear Savior's birth
(O night divine) oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah
(O night divine) it was a holy, holy, holy, oh, oh, oh
HANG ON! These thing take time. Those are part of the lyrics from Needtobreathe's Hang On, and that is a message you need to reminded of when you are trying to heal PTSD, even though the song is not about PTSD.
It took time for everyone who ever healed and it will take time for you. It takes leaps of opened eyed faith to know that you can change how things are for you. You have to learn a way of healing that will take care of all the parts of you...your mind, your body and your spirit.
Things take time, so you also need patience with yourself and others. It took time for PTSD to change you and it will take time to change again. It takes time for you to understand, and it will take time for those around you to understand too.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it.
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
"Hang On"
First touch of summer, she's got your t-shirt on
Sun's going down, schools out, stars are coming on
You can rewind it, but you can't ever feel like you do tonight
Make a movie in your mind, but don't rush it
Boy, you're about to see the light
Hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling
Hang on to your love drunk original reason
Hang on to the small town you love but you're leaving
Oh you won't be a fool for so long
So hang on
If you listen to the voices inside they won't do you wrong
You can look back over your shoulder, yeah, but don't look too long
It takes time to realize
That your life's gonna pass you by
So hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling
Hang on to your love drunk original reason
So hang on to the small town you love but you're leaving
'Cause you won't be a fool for so long
Oh, these things they take time
And all these things take time, these things they take time
And all these things I've learned, it's never a straight line
'Cause all these things take time, these things they take time
So hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling
Hang on to your love drunk original reason
'Cause all these things take time, these things they take time
And all these things I've learned, it's never a straight line
So hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling
So hang on to your love drunk original reason
So hang on to the small town you love but you're leaving
Oh you won't be a fool for so long
So hang on
(All these things they take time)
Hang on
(All these things they take time)
Hang on
(All these things they take time)
(AZ Lyrics)
bonus song
Who Am I
White lights and desperation
Hard times and conversation
No one should ever love me like you do
Sometimes my bad decisions
Define my false suspicions
No one should ever love me like you do
While I'm on this road you take my hand
Somehow you really love who I really am
I push you away, still you won't let go
You grow your roses on my barren soul
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
Last night, confidence was shaken
My wounds and my past was saying
No one should ever love me like you do
While I'm on this road you take my hand
Somehow you really love who I really am
I push you away, still you won't let go
You grow your roses on my barren soul
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
The way I push you through it, what you had to see
I'm a train wreck, I'm a mess, you see the best
And the worst in me
Still I can't imagine that I've learned your trust
I don't understand where your love comes from
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Nathaniel Rinehart / William Rinehart
First, we need to face some facts. Some people suck. They are the last to help anyone but the first who expect help from everyone. They refuse to lift anyone up, but expect it from everyone else. While they have a soul, just like every other person on the planet, they refuse to be moved by it to help anyone unless they can get something out of it. They seek power, money, publicity and pats on the back. You know the type...because there are too many of them out there.
But the other fact is, there are more people out there, who care. They are the first to rush to help, and the last to ask for it. Most find it easier to ask for help for someone else, instead of for themselves. When they do need help, and as for it, but it does not come, it can be more devastating for them, because they will not be able to help someone else, unless someone rescues them.
I have been running into this all my life. While I'll help everyone in whatever way I can, most of the time I don't get any. I lost count how many times someone reached out to me online and promised they would help me financially and help me reach more people, but they never did. I blamed them, not God because I know God sent them to me in the first place, or they wouldn't have bothered to reach out at all.
We have God's promise He will not abandon us, but when the people He tries to send do not listen to Him, we end up blaming God and wonder what we did wrong. We have His promise that He will send an army to help us and it is not His fault they went AWOL. Don't lose faith in Him, because He does hear your prayers. Until He can get someone to help you, He will give you peace so that you know He is there and faithful, even though people are not. He will give you strength to get through whatever it is you are up against, so that you do not give up.
If you have PTSD, know that He is trying to get people to help you. He is trying to get them to hear your cries for help and will not give up. Take what He can provide as a blessing until those who He is trying to send, show up!
Take comfort in this beautiful song because I know I did. I woke in a bad mood things morning and was lifted up by this song and Lauren Daigle's beautiful voice Rescue!
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Lauren Daigle - Rescue (Official Music Video)
You are not hidden
There's never been a moment
You were forgotten
You are not hopeless
Though you have been broken
Your innocence stolen
I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS, your SOS
I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you
There is no distance
That cannot be covered
Over and over
You're not defenseless
I'll be your shelter
I'll be your armor
I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS, your SOS
I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you
I will never stop marching to reach you
In the middle of the hardest fight
It's true, I will rescue you
I hear the whisper underneath your breath
I hear you whisper, you have nothing left
I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you
I will never stop marching to reach you
In the middle of the hardest fight
It's true, I will rescue you
Oh, I will rescue you
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Paul Mabury / Lauren Daigle
There seems to be some confusion on spiritual healing. It is not a matter of going to church or thinking that you are supposed to be "sinless" or perfect.
If you read the Bible at all, you'll know that it is full of a people who screwed up in their lives and yet God used them to make miracles happen.
The fact that you survived something that could have killed you, is a miracle in itself, but too many think it is punishment for something you did wrong...and God sent it to you. How do you pray or talk to God if you think He did it to you? You can't but you can turn to Him once you understand that is not the way it happened.
Every heartache, every doubt you ever had, was something that Jesus knew all too well. He also knew what it was like to be betrayed by those you trusted. To do the right thing and then have people turn away from you, as much as He understood what it was like to feel abandoned by God.
Even as the Son of God, He still asked for help from other people. What makes you so different that you think you shouldn't ask for help too, especially if PTSD hit you because of your job?
It doesn't matter if you screwed up in your life, you can start making a miracle in your own life so you can turn around and begin one in the life of someone else.
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
So if you think you cannot talk to someone here on earth, then talk to Him. He doesn't want to hear words you read out a book or just repeat something that is not from your heart. He can actually hear what is in your heart, so speak to Him from there and tell Him you are turning to Him for help.
Incubus - Undefeated
Could there be another universe?
One that wasn't always out to getcha?
And it breaks my heart a little bit
That here I'm like a sleepwalker
Half alive and hanging by a thread
I'm not dead yet
I'm not dead yet, no
I'm bent but not broken
And I'm not dead yet, no
Yeah
Maybe there's a poem in reverse
Spoken and it holds me out forever
Man it breaks my heart a little bit
But love is like a blind archer
Tryin' to shoot an apple off my head
I'm not dead yet
I'm not dead yet, no
I'm bent but not broken
And I'm not dead yet
Not yet
We're undefeated, bent but not broken
No they ain't seen nothing yet
We're undefeated, bent but not broken
Not dead yet
We're undefeated, bent but not broken
No they ain't seen nothing yet
We're undefeated, bent but not broken
I'm not dead yet
I'm not dead yet, no
I'm bent but not broken
And I'm not dead yet (ooh)
I'm not dead yet (ooh)
I'm not dead yet (ooh)
I'm bent but not broken (ooh)
And I'm not dead yet (ooh)
No
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Brandon Boyd / Michael Einziger / Christopher Kilmore / Benjamin Kenney / Jose Pasillas
Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Beginning to think that I'm wastin' time
I don't understand the things I do
The world outside looks so unkind
So I'm countin' on you to carry me through
If you haven't guessed by now, the feature video on PTSD Patrol is Dobie Gray Drift Away.
Hopefully by now, with all the music being shared, you've noticed how you mood does change, even if it is just for a little while. This is why music therapy works on PTSD. It takes your mind away from your problems and helps to teach your body to calm down again.
This is one of the best songs to explain that.
Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Day after day I'm more confused
Yet I look for the light in the pouring rain
You know that's a game that I hate to lose
I'm feelin' the strain, ain't it a shame
Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Beginning to think that I'm wastin' time
I don't understand the things I do
The world outside looks so unkind
So I'm countin' on you to carry me through
Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
And when my mind is free
You know a melody can move me
And when I'm feelin' blue
The guitar's comin' through to soothe me
Thanks for the joy that you've given me
I want you to know I believe in your song
Rhythm and rhyme and harmony
You help me along makin' me strong
Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Hey, hey, give me the beat boys, and free my soul
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
"You're all I need to get by" would be so nice to hear again but for far too many, they feel as if they cannot do anything for anyone, especially if they are dealing with PTSD. It causes inspiration and hope to be crushed. How can you think you can mean anything to anyone, if you don't think you matter?
Look at the people in your life and know that you do matter. Remember how much they mean to you and what things were like before you transformed from what a world where you knew what "normal" was like, and it all spun out of control.
There was a time when I didn't think my husband I were going to make it another week, yet we're still together after 38 years...we met in 1982. There was a time when he didn't believe he deserved to be happy again, until he finally knew why he did.
I think back to times in my own life when people showed me I mattered, even when I didn't want to even get out of bed. When they were happy to see me walk through the door, when I didn't even want to go there. Little by little, people decided to lift someone else up because it made them feel good inside. It sure as hell feels a lot better than trying to knock someone down.
A lot of people I know have been posting about how they feel used up. They do good for other people, yet what they did was not appreciated at all. I tell them to keep doing good because that wonderful feeling they get inside, is their reward. If it is taken for granted, then, it is the other person's responsibility. I forgive them, shake the dust off my feet and walk away. It does not stop me from doing good for someone else. That is what love is.
I try to remember that in everything I do and you should too!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Here is a story about what it means to be part of a miracle.
Stephan Wenz
October 17 at 12:35 AM
DID GOD RIDE THE BROOKLYN SUBWAY
Marcel Sternberger was a methodical man of nearly 50, with bushy white hair, guileless brown eyes, and the bouncing enthusiasm of a czardas dancer of his native Hungary. He always took the 9:09 Long Island Railroad train from his suburban home to Woodside, N.Y.., where he caught a subway into the city.
On the morning of January 10, 1948, Sternberger boarded the 9:09 as usual. En route, he suddenly decided to visit Laszlo Victor, a Hungarian friend who lived in Brooklyn and was ill.
Accordingly, at Ozone Park, Sternberger changed to the subway for Brooklyn, went to his friend’s house, and stayed until midafternoon. He then boarded a Manhattan-bound subway for his Fifth Avenue office. Here is Marcel’s incredible story:
The car was crowded, and there seemed to be no chance of a seat. But just as I entered, a man sitting by the door suddenly jumped up to leave, and I slipped into the empty place. I’ve been living in New York long enough not to start conversations with strangers. But being a photographer, I have the peculiar habit of analyzing people’s faces, and I was struck by the features of the passenger on my left. He was probably in his late 30s, and when he glanced up, his eyes seemed to have a hurt expression in them. He was reading a Hungarian-language newspaper, and something prompted me to say in Hungarian, “I hope you don’t mind if I glance at your paper.”
The man seemed surprised to be addressed in his native language. But he answered politely, “You may read it now. I’ll have time later on.”
During the half-hour ride to town, we had quite a conversation. He said his name was Bela Paskin. A law student when World War II started, he had been put into a German labor battalion and sent to the Ukraine. Later he was captured by the Russians and put to work burying the German dead. After the war, he covered hundreds of miles on foot until he reached his home in Debrecen, a large city in eastern Hungary.
I myself knew Debrecen quite well, and we talked about it for a while. Then he told me the rest of his story. When he went to the apartment once occupied by his father, mother, brothers and sisters, he found strangers living there. Then he went upstairs to the apartment that he and his wife once had. It also was occupied by strangers. None of them had ever heard of his family.
As he was leaving, full of sadness, a boy ran after him, calling “Paskin bacsi! Paskin bacsi!” That means “Uncle Paskin.” The child was the son of some old neighbors of his. He went to the boy’s home and talked to his parents. “Your whole family is dead,” they told him. “The Nazis took them and your wife to Auschwitz.”
Auschwitz was one of the worst Nazi concentration camps. Paskin gave up all hope. A few days later, too heartsick to remain any longer in Hungary, he set out again on foot, stealing across border after border until he reached Paris. He managed to immigrate to the United States in October 1947, just three months before I met him.
All the time he had been talking, I kept thinking that somehow his story seemed familiar. A young woman whom I had met recently at the home of friends had also been from Debrecen; she had been sent to Auschwitz; from there she had been transferred to work in a German munitions factory. Her relatives had been killed in the gas chambers. Later she was liberated by the Americans and was brought here in the first boatload of displaced persons in 1946.
Her story had moved me so much that I had written down her address and phone number, intending to invite her to meet my family and thus help relieve the terrible emptiness in her life.
It seemed impossible that there could be any connection between these two people, but as I neared my station, I fumbled anxiously in my address book. I asked in what I hoped was a casual voice, “Was your wife’s name Marya?”
He turned pale. “Yes!” he answered. “How did you know?”
He looked as if he were about to faint.
I said, “Let’s get off the train.” I took him by the arm at the next station and led him to a phone booth. He stood there like a man in a trance while I dialed her phone number.
It seemed hours before Marya Paskin answered. (Later I learned her room was alongside the telephone, but she was in the habit of never answering it because she had so few friends and the calls were always for someone else. This time, however, there was no one else at home and, after letting it ring for a while, she responded.)
When I heard her voice at last, I told her who I was and asked her to describe her husband. She seemed surprised at the question, but gave me a description. Then I asked her where she had lived in Debrecen, and she told me the address.
Asking her to hold the line, I turned to Paskin and said, “Did you and your wife live on such-and-such a street?”
“Yes!” Bela exclaimed. He was white as a sheet and trembling.
“Try to be calm,” I urged him. “Something miraculous is about to happen to you. Here, take this telephone and talk to your wife!”
He nodded his head in mute bewilderment, his eyes bright with tears. He took the receiver, listened a moment to his wife’s voice, then suddenly cried, “This is Bela! This is Bela!” and he began to mumble hysterically. Seeing that the poor fellow was so excited he couldn’t talk coherently, I took the receiver from his shaking hands.
“Stay where you are,” I told Marya, who also sounded hysterical. “I am sending your husband to you. We will be there in a few minutes.”
Bela was crying like a baby and saying over and over again. “It is my wife. I go to my wife!”
At first I thought I had better accompany Paskin, lest the man should faint from excitement, but I decided that this was a moment in which no strangers should intrude. Putting Paskin into a taxicab, I directed the driver to take him to Marya’s address, paid the fare, and said goodbye.
Bela Paskin’s reunion with his wife was a moment so poignant, so electric with suddenly released emotion, that afterward neither he nor Marya could recall much about it.
“I remember only that when I left the phone, I walked to the mirror like in a dream to see if maybe my hair had turned gray,” she said later. “The next thing I know, a taxi stops in front of the house, and it is my husband who comes toward me. Details I cannot remember; only this I know—that I was happy for the first time in many years.....
“Even now it is difficult to believe that it happened. We have both suffered so much; I have almost lost the capability to not be afraid. Each time my husband goes from the house, I say to myself, “Will anything happen to take him from me again?”
Her husband is confident that no horrible misfortune will ever again befall the. “Providence has brought us together,” he says simply. “It was meant to be.”
Skeptical persons will no doubt attribute the events of that memorable afternoon to mere chance. But was it chance that made Marcel Sternberger suddenly decide to visit his sick friend and hence take a subway line that he had never ridden before? Was it chance that caused the man sitting by the door of the car to rush out just as Sternberger came in? Was it chance that caused Bela Paskin to be sitting beside Sternberger, reading a Hungarian newspaper'
Was it chance—or did God ride the Brooklyn subway that afternoon'
Paul Deutschman, Great Stories Remembered, edited and compiled by Joe L. Wheeler
You're all I need to get by.
Like the sweet morning dew, I took one look at you,
And it was plain to see, you were my destiny.
With my arms open wide,
I threw away my pride
I'll sacrifice for you
Dedicate my life for you
I will go where you lead
Always there in time of need
And when I lose my will
You'll be there to push me up the hill
There's no, no looking back for us
We got love sure 'nough, that's enough
You're all, You're all I need to get by.
You're all I need to get by.
Like an eagle protects his nest, for you I'll do my best,
Stand by you like a tree, dare anybody to try and move me
Darling in you I found
Strength where I was torn down
Don't know what's in store but together we can open any door
Just to do what's good for you and inspire you a little higher
I know you can make a man out of a soul that didn't have a goal
Cause we, we got the right foundation and with love and determination
You're all I want to strive for and do a little more
All, all the joys under the sun wrapped up into one
Today the featured video is a bit different. If is from the movie Bruce Almighty when God gave him the power to do all kinds of things. When you survive whatever caused your #PTSD, you have the power to heal as a survivor already inside of you. The very fact you are watching these videos means you have the power of hope already and that is the start of living a happier life.
Just imagine that you are Bruce and God knew that you would use your power for good eventually. Want to change the world? Then start with yourself and spread the message of healing to others, so they can change the world too!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife
It may not be easy....but it can happen if you believe!
There are many different places online referring to the power of forgiveness. Each one of them is helpful. For right now, Psychology Today has a great piece from 2015 by Mark Banschick MD.
Forgiveness requires a special kind of thinking that is not always easy; a letting go, a putting things in perspective and an acceptance that the world has been unkind, or perhaps even cruel to you.
Forgiveness and Trauma:
When a psychological hurt lies deep in our minds, like an early trauma or deprivation, or a violent betrayal, forgiveness will require trauma work. This is because trauma wires your brain to a fight/flight mode that can be triggered in multiple ways - and sometimes daily. You strive to let go, but you find yourself reliving the event, over and over. In order to do forgiveness work, you will have to deal with the depressive and often maladaptive ways that your mind processes trauma.
After surviving many other things in my life, the hardest one centered around domestic violence. That is what I am talking about in the video today.
Until I could forgive, there was no room in me for anything positive to get in.
After talking about the mind and what PTSD does, we're moving onto the most important part in my view. That is your spiritual path towards healing. It's the windshield. Hanging onto the bad someone did to you, keeps good things from getting in. There is no room when bitterness consumes you. This part of the videos is explaining how to forgive and see things in a different way. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Today we are talking about the spiritual side of you and how you can find the serenity to make peace with what you cannot change, change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Every vehicle on the road was designed for a specific purpose. A race car was designed to go fast and it was built that way. Construction equipment was designed to do a specific job and was built to do it. Plows were designed to clear things out of the way, and they were also built to do it. So were you!
If you are in any type of service to others, no matter what it is, you were tugged to do it because that is what you were designed to do. The wondrous thing is, you were also built to do it and endure whatever hardship came with what you were designed to do. It is all there, included in the plans for your purpose by design.
Jeremiah 29
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.
You will begin to learn how to connect what was included in your design to prosper, have hope for your future and be brought out of the captivity of PTSD.
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD
Every vehicle was designed for a specific purpose and was built accordingly. So were you. Everything you needed to do what you were designed to do is all there.
Miracles happened because some believed they could
PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos May 18, 2020 Stories from Wounded Times Noah Galloway, Iraq veteran and double amputee could have returned home and spent his days felling sorry for what he lost. He decided to be make the best of his life his family and to inspire others. He also decided that he would become the first amputee model on Men's Health Magazine.
When things happen, there are many who decided to become the best they can be, like Galloway, who accepted "no excuses" for his life. In 2015 Wounded Times had a post "Welcome Back To The New You" because nothing is constant in anyone. The other heading was "We can swear to you that this things pass" and PTSD can lose." There is a quote by Thomas Wolfe that sums this up. "The human mind is a fearful instrument of adaptation, and in nothing is this more clearly shown than in its mysterious powers of resilience, self-protection, and self healing."
Anthony McDaniel was a triple amputee, but encouraged others around the world to not accept what they lost because there was so much more than could still do with what they had. He competed in the Wheel Chair Games. Scott Smiley lost his sight but became an inspiration to others...and competed in Ironman. His wife Tiffany became his biggest supporter. "I could let my mind go that way and say we are ruined and we are not going to be able to do anything. Or I could go the other way and just be his biggest cheerleader. And I just sort of took that on, even if I didn't believe it myself." A homeless veteran in Florida, Donald Gould was recorded playing the piano. The video went viral and he was reconnected with his son, because he never lost his love for music...or his son. Over and over again, we see miracles happen everyday because someone takes that leap of faith to not just change their own life...but the lives of others. "Want to see a miracle? Then be the miracle" Bruce Almighty
10 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two[a] others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2 He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.
We can settle for our lives as they are...or we can change. We can just think of ourselves, or we can acknowledge the pain we feel to understand the pain others are in...and inspire them to heal too. Much like the 72, no one knows their names but they changed the world, one miracle at a time.
17 The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.”
18 He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. 20 However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”
And when they returned, they had given glory to God, because God gave them the ability to be a miracle worker in His name.
23 Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.
And their eyes were all the reward they needed...because they beheld the greatest gift anyone could ever receive. The payment of seeing lives transformed from suffering into joy!
PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos May 16, 2020
From Point Man's website
Since 1984, when Seattle Police Officer and Vietnam Veteran Bill Landreth noticed he was arresting the same people each night, he discovered most were Vietnam vets like himself that just never seemed to have quite made it home. He began to meet with them in coffee shops and on a regular basis for fellowship and prayer. Soon, Point Man Ministries was conceived and became a staple of the Seattle area. Bills untimely death soon after put the future of Point Man in jeopardy.
However, Chuck Dean, publisher of a Veterans self help newspaper, Reveille, had a vision for the ministry and developed it into a system of small groups across the USA for the purpose of mutual support and fellowship. These groups are known as Outposts. Worldwide there are hundreds of Outposts and Homefront groups serving the families of veterans.
PMIM is run by veterans from all conflicts, nationalities and backgrounds. Although, the primary focus of Point Man has always been to offer spiritual healing from PTSD, Point Man today is involved in group meetings, publishing, hospital visits, conferences, supplying speakers for churches and veteran groups, welcome home projects and community support. Just about any where there are Vets there is a Point Man presence. All services offered by Point Man are free of charge. read the post here
The leader of the Newark post, Russ Clark, is a retired Marine who fought in Vietnam. Clark was a Methodist minister for 25 years before leaving the pastorate due to life upheaval brought on by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He knows firsthand the devastation PTSD can bring into the lives of veterans and their families.
“I lost a family. I lost a ministry. Point Man is now my calling,” Clark explained. He said helping other veterans has brought him great healing. He encourages other veterans to reach out to those with similar experiences.
One of the greatest blessing in what I do is coming into contact with people from all over the country and in many other nations. People who work on PTSD do it for one reason and that is to help people who have survived trauma. Some do it because someone they know was wounded so deeply they developed PTSD, as in my case with my husband. Some do it because they survived trauma and felt blessed they did not develop PTSD. Others simply do it out of the goodness of their hearts. Whatever the reason, all of us agree that each part that makes us human has been wounded and needs to be taken care of to heal as well as possible. The mind, body and spirit are all connected. This I know very well and so do groups like Point Man International Ministries.
There is a lot of talk in the news about the soldier who is an atheist being treated badly because he does not believe in God. As a Chaplain it is not our duty to convert anyone or force anyone into anything. We are supposed to be there to help as humans. Oh, sure our faith is the basis for what we do, but Chaplains come in all faiths. More on this later.
For most who offer their spiritual guidance and support, nothing else matters but the need for help, healing, forgiveness and compassion. That is what Point Man has been doing since 1984.
The power of Point Man Ministries from September 27, 2010 was written after I got back from a conference in Buffalo. It was easy to see how many others believed as I did. We not only knew that nothing was hopeless, we needed to be the helpers proving it. Tim was one of the most inspirational people I ever met.
Ret. Staff Sgt. Tim Pollock shared his story about his time in Iraq, healing, the people he met at Walter Reed during his 18 months of recovery and then what changed in him when he began to use the experiences he had coupled with the love he has for his fellow veterans. Tim could have let his wound and loss of part of his scull along with losing his eye turn him bitter but the love he has in his heart would not surrender. He has changed many lives because he answered Christ's call to help others.
Another is Paul.
Part two, Iraq vet talks about PTSD and his work with Point Man Ministries and how he put the gun in his mouth...
Researchers have been trying to identify the key of healing PTSD, and when they looked at the spiritual aspect, they found it. Religious Beliefs Affect Mental Health on the Boston Channel is one of the studies. We didn't need more proof because we saw it everyday. They looked at guilt, or later better known as "moral injury" as if they just discovered something new. We knew that if you healed the soul...you'd heal PTSD. Countless lives have been saved because of the work representatives have done because they understood the power of faith in their own lives. They wanted to pass it on and have done it since 1984 because miracles still come true!
