"She's leaving home, after living alone, for so many years"

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

March 24, 2021

Does your adult child believe they are living alone, even though they live with you? Sometimes the loneliest place to be, is with people you love. This is to the parents of survivors, especially young veterans. They will not say much about where they were or what they did, but they say even less about what came back with them. Their souls have a huge scar.

You may notice the changes in their actions and attitudes. You may notice they are not the same. What you don't notice is they are not just "getting over it" on their own. It is up to you to be able to understand what the changes mean and if they need help instead of time to heal from it.

If not, then they may end up feeling as if they are living alone with a house full of people around them. Sharing a dwelling is not the same as sharing lives.

There are so many causes of trauma but the key doctors look for are the two words most often spoken afterwards. "Suddenly changed" give doctors a clue as to what the person can be suffering with. PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, can be misdiagnosed as many other mental health issues, but this one is only caused by surviving traumatic events.

While news reports cause people to be emotionally invested in the stories, survivors of those same events can be hit especially hard by them. I get really emotional when I read about domestic abuse and stalking. I also get emotional reading about veterans committing suicide. It is as if the events that hit my life has happened all over again.

When the police officer's knee was on George Floyd's neck, most people got angry but for some young black men, it stuck in their minds. It caused traumatic reactions the next time they encounter police offices. When police officers read reports of other officers being shot, the next time they encounter someone with a weapon, it can cause a traumatic response that lingers.

No matter what caused PTSD in them, whenever it happens to someone else, it hits them hard and they will remember when it happened to them more stronger than during most days. If they are in therapy, they need to talk to their therapist. If they are not, then try to get them to at least open up to you.

Most of the time, people will not talk about any of this out of fear of being judged. The thing is, they fear what they do not understand. If they understood PTSD is only something survivors experience, then they would know there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Don't let them think they are living alone and cannot talk to you about what is harming them.

Today the featured video is "She's Leaving Home" by the Beatles.

Melanie Coe, the teenage runaway who inspired the Beatles' "She's Leaving Home," looks back on her surreal moment as a 'Sgt. Pepper' muse. (Read article from Rolling Stone below)

Remember it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

She's leaving home

The Beatles;

Wednesday morning at five o'clock

As the day begins

Silently closing her bedroom door

Leaving the note that she hoped would say more

She goes down the stairs to the kitchen

Clutching her handkerchief

Quietly turning the backdoor key

Stepping outside, she is free

She, ... (we gave her most of our lives)

Is leaving (sacrified most of our lives)

Home (we gave her everything money could buy)

Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown

Picks up the letter that's lying there

Standing alone at the top of the stairs

She breaks down and cries to her husband

Daddy, our baby's gone.

Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly?

How could she do this to me?

She (we never thought of ourselves)

Is leaving (never a thought for ourselves)

Home (we struggled hard all our lives to get by)

She's leaving home, after living alone, for so many years

Friday morning, at nine o'clock

She is far away

Waiting to keep the appointment she made

Greeting a man from the Motortrade

She (what did we do that was wrong)

Is Having (we didn't know it was wrong)

Fun (fun is the one thing that money can't buy)

Something inside, that was always denied,

For so many years,

She's leaving home

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Lennon John Winston / Mccartney Paul James 

Beatles’ ‘Sgt. Pepper’ at 50: Meet the Runaway Who Inspired ‘She’s Leaving Home’
Melanie Coe looks back on her teenage days as an unlikely Lennon/McCartney muse
The Rolling Stone
By JORDAN RUNTAGH
MAY 23, 2017

The Beatles‘ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, which Rolling Stone named as the best album of all time, turns 50 on June 1st. In honor of the anniversary, and coinciding with a new deluxe reissue of Sgt. Pepper, we present a series of in-depth pieces – one for each of the album’s tracks, excluding the brief “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” reprise on Side Two – that explore the background of this revolutionary and beloved record. Today’s installment focuses on Melanie Coe, the real-life teen runaway who inspired “She’s Leaving Home.”

“A-Level Girl Dumps Car And Vanishes,” screamed a headline in the February 27th, 1967, issue of London’s Daily Mail. A pretty blonde 17-year-old named Melanie Coe stared out from the adjacent photograph, taken not long before she went missing from her family’s home in Stamford Hill, England. The report portrayed her as a “the schoolgirl who seemed to have everything,” including her own Austin 1100 car and a “wardrobe full of clothes,” both of which were left behind. “I cannot imagine why she should run away,” her father told reporters. “She has everything here … even her fur coat.”

Unable to express herself at home, Coe made a desperate lunge at freedom. One afternoon, while both her parents were out, she left a note and slipped out the door. Decades later, Coe remains stunned by the prescience of the Beatles’ lyrics. “The most interesting thing in the song is what the father said, ‘We gave her everything, everything money could buy.’ And in the newspaper article, my father actually says almost those words. He doesn’t understand why I would have left home when they bought me or gave me everything. Which is true; they had bought me a car and they always bought me expensive clothes and things like that. But as we know, that doesn’t mean that you get on well with your parents, or even love them, just because they buy you material things.”
read the rest here

Want to meet a champion?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 22, 2021

Today the featured video is Queen, We Are The Champions. Want to meet a champion? Then look in the mirror. If you survived whatever caused PTSD in you, then you are a champion. You defeated what tried to kill you and now it is time to defeat what is trying to destroy you now.

In any conflict, the enemy is not totally obliterated. With PTSD your enemy is confusion and doubt. You get confused about what it is doing to you and you doubt there is anything you can do to keep fighting for a better life.

You may be tired of feeling bad things, so you decide to get numb enough to stop feeling. You may try to get drunk enough to do that but then you regret it in the morning. If you think that only bad feelings are in your future, then you won't try to push them out of your life so you can feel good feelings again.

Living that way sucks! It is like taking that bandage on your soul and ripping it off over and over again.

It is so much better to learn how to defeat the enemy inside of you to be able to know what it feels like to be "you" again.

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I haven't felt much like a champion the last few days. My ego has been taking a beating. I've done a lot of things that no one will ever know about, and I was feeling really depressed about that until last night. It finally dawned on me that God does a lot of things too no one will ever know about.

The thing is, God tries to get through to people but will not try to control anyone. That is why He gave all of us freewill. How many times has He tired to get people to listen to Him, but they didn't? With so many problems in the world, we always ask why God isn't taking care of it for us. Did we ever wonder why people are not listening to Him about what they can do to fix it?

God tries to get through to me and I know I'm listening if I have peace in my soul. I know I'm only doing what I want if my gut is churning. A lot of times, we do good things but people take advantage of it and we end up regretting it. Don't! You have no power over what they do with what you do for them. The only thing you can do is do it because you know it is the right thing to do and you are being true to yourself. That is another way to be a champion too.

We Are The Champions

Queen

I've paid my dues

Time after time

I've done my sentence

But committed no crime

And bad mistakes

I've made a few

I've had my share of sand

Kicked in my face

But I've come through

And we mean to go on and on and on and on

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the World

I've taken my bows

And my curtain calls

You brought me fame and fortune

And everything that goes with it

I thank you all

But it's been no bed of roses

No pleasure cruise

I consider it a challenge before

The human race

And I ain't gonna lose

And we mean to go on and on and on and on

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the World

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting till the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the World

Source: Musixmatch

We Are the Champions lyrics © Queen Music Limited 

let the dreamers wake the nation

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

March 13, 2021

Today I picked a fun video, Carley Simon Let The River Run. If you saw the movie Working Girl, then you know it is a story about an average woman with big dreams. Tess McGill (Melanie Griffith) was really smart but didn't have many chances to prove it and change her life...until her boss broke her leg. Even her friends thought she was nuts to try it, but she did and in the end she won.

The song is about dreamers. People dreaming about making something better too. Making their lives different than they are because they believe they can be. What do you believe? Do you believe your life can be different than it is? Do you have chances to prove you are right?

When you have a dream that's great. It sucks if you do not think you have a chance in hell of making it happen. If you have PTSD, it sucks wanting to be happier but believing there is no way it can happen because that was what you heard. If you know it can happen, then you find a way to make that dream come true.

You get a roadmap to get you from where you are to where you want to be. You believe in yourself because you know in your heart it is possible and one mile at a time, you learn how to get there. When you do, you discover that you can win first place in a better life for yourself too.

If you know how to heal because you did it, then wake the rest of the people up in the nation so they can dream about doing it too! 

Remember, it is you life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

    

Let the River Run

Carly Simon

Let the river run

Let all the dreamers wake the nation

Come, the New Jerusalem

Silver cities rise

The morning lights the streets that lead them

And sirens call them on with a song

It's asking for the taking

Trembling, shaking

Oh, my heart is aching

We're coming to the edge

Running on the water

Coming through the fog

Your sons and daughters

We the great and small

Stand on a star

And blaze a trail of desire

Through the darkening dawn

It's asking for the taking

Come run with me now

The sky is the colour of blue

You've never even seen

In the eyes of your lover

Oh, my heart is aching

We're coming to the edge

Running on the water

Coming through the fog

Your sons and daughters

It's asking for the taking

Trembling, shaking

Oh, my heart is aching

We're coming to the edge

Running on the water

Coming through the fog

Your sons and daughters

Let the river run (Let the river run)

Let all the dreamers (let all the dreamers)

Wake the nation (wake the nation)

Come, the New Jerusalem

Source: Musixmatch

Let the River Run lyrics © Universal Music Corp., C'est Music, Tcf Music Publishing Inc 

PTSD Make Everyday A Better Bonus Day

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 17, 2021

When you survive something, there is an expression, "Everyday is a bonus."

BONUS: something in addition to what is expected or strictly due

If you have PTSD, and are suffering, it can be hard to think of your following days that way. But you can make a #BetterBonusDay everyday from this point on.

You do change after you survive. I did every time an "it" happened. I changed after the first two it happened in one night, along with all the other times. You go through the grieving process. Something died inside you and something else replaced it. The person you were before, is not 100% of the person you become the day afterwards and all the days to follow that day.

"But now friends are acting strange, and they shake their heads, they say I've changed." Maybe you thought that way a time or two...or more, after you survived whatever caused PTSD to hit you. In my case, friends would be worried if I wasn't acting strange, because they'd know I changed, without a doubt.

I've seen PTSD from both sides now and I know that the better side of it is a lot happier than the side of darkness. This is why today the featured song in Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now.

So what do you want to do with your bonus day? I wanted to change the world. I wanted to make a difference being alive. Maybe because I was so young when I was introduced to having my life on the line, I had a head start on healing. (Excuse the pun because it was head trauma at the age of 5.) All the other times, were added onto the scars that were already there. 

What do you want to do? Do you want to be better in your own life? Then it is time to heal the scars in your life so you can come closer to whatever you want your bonus days to be.

Get help to heal, in whatever way you need it to be. Therapy, support groups, educating yourself, talking to friends, or whatever will help you that isn't drugs or alcohol. 

That takes care of your mind healing, but you also have to heal your body. Every part of your was involved in whatever "it" was. Go for a walk, do Yoga, meditation, play music, write, create art, anything that will help your body to find calmness enough so it gets used to not being fed by adrenaline rushes.

Now for your spirit. If you are struggling wondering why you survived, listen to your soul and find out what you were put here on this earth to do with your life. Want to be a better person, then start there. As you get stronger, help others understand how much power they have to heal too. 

People will notice the change in you from that side of your life's better bonus day!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Both Sides Now

Joni Mitchell

Rows and flows of angel hair

And ice cream castles in the air

And feather canyons every where

Looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun

They rain and snow on everyone

So many things I would have done

But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down and still somehow

It's cloud's illusions I recall

I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and ferries wheels

The dizzy dancing way that you feel

As every fairy tale comes real

I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show

And you leave 'em laughing when you go

And if you care, don't let them know

Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now

From give and take and still somehow

It's love's illusions that I recall

I really don't know love 

Really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud

To say, "I love you" right out loud

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

I've looked at life that way

Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange

And they shake their heads, they say I've changed

Well something's lost, but something's gained

In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It's life's illusions I recall

I really don't know life at all

It's life's illusions that I recall

I really don't know life

I really don't know life at all

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Joni Mitchell

Both Sides, Now lyrics © Crazy Crow Music / Siquomb Music Publishing 

Then you can tell someone, you'll stand by them to get there too!

I'll Stand by You ( LIVE )

Chrissie Hynde 

Oh, why you look so sad?

Tears are in your eyes

Come on and come to me now

Don't be ashamed to cry

Let me see you through

'Cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you

You don't know what to do

Nothing you confess

Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, get mad

Don't hold it all inside

Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?

I get angry too

Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads

And don't know which path to choose

Let me come along

'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you

And when

When the night falls on you, baby

You're feeling all alone

You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you

Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Thomas Kelly / Christine Hynde / Billy Steinberg

I'll Stand by You lyrics © BMG Rights Management 

Sunday will never be the same

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 15, 2021

Has your memory played tricks on you? Did you ever remember something that wasn't true, or at least not entirely true?

This morning an example of that happened to me. Usually I pick out the music for the featured video during the day depending on what the message is, if I already thought of it. Sometimes I'll hear a song on the radio and it changes my mood, or takes me back to a different time in my life. Other times, like this morning, a song will pop into my head. An old song I hadn't heard in a long time popped in and I was happy thinking about it. The beat was uplifting and I thought great day to feature it. That was until I looked up the lyrics to Spanky and Our Gang Sunday Will Never Be The Same. It wasn't a happy song.

Sunday Will Never Be the Same

Spanky and Our Gang

I remember Sunday morning

I would meet him at the park

We'd walk together hand in hand

Till it was almost dark

Now I wake up Sunday morning

Walk along the lane to find

Nobody waiting for me

Sunday's just another day

Sunday will never be the same

(Sunday will never be the same)

I lost my baby's heart

I must be back again

Sunny afternoons that made me feel so warm inside

Have turned as cold and gray as ashes

As I feel the embers die

No longer can I walk these paths for they have changed

I must be home the sun is gone and I think it's gonna rain

I remember children

Feeding flocks of pigeons

I remember sunshine and you were mine

Sunday will never be the same

Sunday will never be the same

Sunday will never be the same

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Terry Cashman / Gene Pistilli

Sunday Will Never Be the Same lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

That came out in 1967. I was really young. I've heard it a lot over the years, but it has been a long time. My mind focused on the music, which is really upbeat, but since the lyrics were forgotten, I didn't remember the sadness. So why is it so hard to remember things the other way around?

Sometimes when you remember the event or events that caused PTSD, all you can remember is the horrible parts. There were other parts that were a lot better, but the strongest memory is the one that took hold. You had some good things happen too. You could have had someone save you. Someone may have come to help you afterwards. More than likely, people you know showed up to see if they could help, to visit you, call you, or offer comfort in whatever way they could. The memories are all still there and you can make the better memories stronger than the bad ones.

Our minds also play tricks because every part of us is involved in the event. Our mind, body and spirit are all hit. Every sense we have absorbs whatever is there just as our eyes take it all in, even though we don't notice what is being recorded in our brains. That is why a smell can be a trigger of the event, or a sound (like with me) and even an anniversary date we do not consciously remember pops up and we are not connecting "then" to our life now.

You need to find some peace with the bad by going back to look at the good that came with it. Keep focusing on that. Those memories will get stronger than the bad ones.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Glorious Victorious

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 13, 2021

What does it feel like since you survived whatever caused PTSD in you? Does it feel as if hope is being sucked right out of you? That you are surrounded by misery and suffering? Are you wondering why the hell you got up out of bed this morning? Or does it feel like you are just sucking up all the hope you can find to live like a survivor?

Isn't it time that you decided that a happier life is so much better than a sucky one?

You are the only one who can decide for yourself. No one else has the power to control what you are willing to do with the rest of your life. Everything you need to heal is already inside of you. All the qualities you had are still there. All the things that made you smile, feel joy and happiness are still there.

That is why there are two featured videos today. Glorious by Macklemore and One Little Victory by Rush. You can discover how glorious it is to be victorious. After all, that is exactly what you are. You are victorious over whatever caused PTSD. You walked away. It did not destroy you. Why let it destroy you now?

Make the choice to heal and be happy with the rest of your life. Learn what PTSD is and what it is doing so you can also learn how much power you do have over it.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

GLORIOUS

MACKLEMORE FEAT SKYLAR GREY

(OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

You know I'm back like I never left

Another sprint, another step

Another day, another breath

Been chasing dreams, but I never slept

I got a new attitude and a lease on life

And some peace of mind

Seek and I find I can sleep when I die

Wanna piece of the pie, grab the keys to the ride

And shit I'm straight

I'm on my wave, I'm on my wave

Get out my wake, I'm running late, what can I say?

I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave

And the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name

So when I leave here on this earth, did I take more than I gave?

Did I look out for the people or did I do it all for fame?

Legend it's exodus searching for euphoria

Trudging through the mud to find the present, no ignoring us

Got 20, 000 deep off in the street like we some warriors

My mama told me never bow your head, woo!

I feel glorious, glorious

Got a chance to start again

I was born for this, born for this

It's who I am, how could I forget?

I made it through the darkest part of the night

And now I see the sunrise

Now I feel glorious, glorious

I feel glorious, glorious

I'm feeling glorious

The crib looking Victorian (oh yes it is)

You know that we been going in

Since we hopped out that Delorean (Delorean, yeah we win)

En garde, things are just things

They don't make you who you are

Can't pack up a U-Haul and take it with you when you're gone

We posted on the porch, my family's glasses to the stars

My grandma smiling down on me like woo, that boy got bars

Okay, okay, yes I do

I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too

Another morning, a morning, don't let self get in my way

I got my breath, I got my faith and I remember why I came

I feel glorious, glorious

Got a chance to start again

I was born for this, born for this

It's who I am, how could I forget?

I made it through the darkest part of the night

And now I see the sunrise

Now I feel glorious, glorious

I feel glorious, glorious

We gon' be alright, put that on my life

When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine

We're planting a flag they don't understand

The world is up for grabs

We gon' be alright, put that on my life

When I open my eyes, hope I see you shine

We're planting a flag they don't understand

The world is up for grabs

I feel glorious, glorious

Got a chance to start again

I was born for this, born for this

It's who I am, how could I forget?

I made it through the darkest part of the night

And now I see the sunrise

Now I feel glorious, glorious

I feel glorious, glorious

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Kelly Claude / Guetta David / Tuinfort Giorgio H / Hafermann Holly B Glorious lyrics © Sony/atv Songs Llc, What A Publishing Limited, What A Publishing Ltd, Hipgnosis Songs Fund Limited

One Little Victory

Rush 

A certain measure of innocence

Willing to appear naive

A certain degree of imagination

A measure of make-believe

A certain degree of surrender

To the forces of light and heat

A shot of satisfaction

In a willingness to risk defeat

Celebrate the moment

As it turns into one more

Another chance at victory

Another chance to score

The measure of the moment

In a difference of degree

Just one little victory

A spirit breaking free

One little victory

The greatest act can be

One little victory

A certain measure of righteousness

A certain amount of force

A certain degree of determination

Daring on a different course

A certain amount of resistance

To the forces of the light and love

A certain measure of tolerance

A willingness to rise above

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

Celebrate the moment

As it turns into one more

Another chance at victory

Another chance to score

The measure of the moment

In a difference of degree

Just one little victory

A spirit breaking free

The greatest act can be

One little victory

The greatest act can be

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

One little victory

Just one little victory

Just one little victory

One little victory

One little victory

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Lee / Peart / Lifeson

One Little Victory lyrics © Ole Core Music Publishing, Anthem Core Music Publishing 

#gloriousvictorious

coming out of the dark into healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 12, 2021

When you are suffering it can feel like a lonely place and you are surrounded by darkness. It sucks to get up in the morning when you know there will be yet another day of the same hell you had the day before and the day before that. 

When you know that relief is coming, the loneliness lifts and the darkness fades. Most Americans know what that feels like after this last horrible year dealing with the pandemic and all that came with it. Relief is coming and it won't be so lonely because families know they will be able to see people they care about very soon. All the darkness brought on by hopelessness started to fade because what we hoped for, has begun.

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

Gloria Estefan

I listened to the President last night and just now, reassure the people they have reason to feel as if they are coming out of the dark. He knows what pain is like, what broken hearts are like and what it is like to lose hope. But above all, he knows what it feels like when the suffering is coming to an end and we begin again.

The people working in hospitals know that things are about to turn around. All they saw before this was a never ending cycle of death and ambivalence. When the new treatments coming, they know they can save lives and there will be fewer people with their lives on the line. That level of stress on them has been almost unbearable, but someone they managed to go to work everyday for the sake of others. PTSD and depression rates went up for them. A worldwide effort put together 65 studies on healthcare workers during the pandemic and found the pandemic caused depression 21.7%, anxiety at 22.1% and PTSD at 21.5%. 

They understand what it is like for you too. Sadly more and more people understand what living with PTSD is like. The blessing is, there are more people to help them find hope now than ever before.

Gloria Estefan knows what it is like too. She knows what being a survivor is and that is why the song Coming Out Of The Dark is so powerful.

'Mayhem': Gloria Estefan remembers the 1990 bus accident that broke her back (USA Today)

Multi-Grammy winner Gloria Estefan is reliving the horror of a collision that left her temporarily unable to walk and her miraculous recovery for her new talk show, "Red Table Talk: The Estefans."

Wednesday's episode of the Facebook Watch series – which Estefan hosts with her daughter, Emily, and niece, Univision host Lili Estefan – mentally transports the "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" singer to a Pennsylvania highway in March 1990, en route to New York. Her husband, producer/musician Emilio, and their son Nayib were also on board.

Estefan, 63, was napping when an 18-wheeler rear-ended her tour bus, which she says "felt like an explosion," and threw her to the floor.

"I am looking around, and it is mayhem," she recalls. "Emilio is over me, wild-eyed, screaming, 'Are you OK?' He's covered in blood."

I use this song a lot because if people know that the worst times are coming to an end and there is reason to know that their hope was not wasted. It is the way I felt last night and today I wanted to share the power of this song with you. If you are tired of hearing it, forgive me but I'll never be tired of sharing it.

I came out of the dark many times and so can you!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Coming Out Of The Dark

Gloria Estefan

Why be afraid if I'm not alone?

Though life is never easy

The rest in unknown

And up to now for me it's been

Hands against stone

Spent each and every moment

Searching for what to believe

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

Coming out of the dark

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing with me

Starting again is part of the plan

And I'll be so much stronger

Holding your hand

Step by step, I'll make it through

I know I can

I may not make it easier

But I have felt you

Near all the way

Coming out of the dark

I finally see the light now

And it's shining on me

(I see the light)

(I see the light)

I see the light (I see the light)

Coming out of the dark

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing with me

Ever (I stand on the rock)

I stand on the rock of your love

(Forever) ever

(And ever) and ever

Can't nobody stop me, watch me

(Forever) ever

(And ever) and ever

Stand on the rock

Of your love is all it takes

No matter what we face

Coming out of the dark

I see the light

I feel your love shining on me (shining)

(Shining) Yeah, shining on me (shining)

I know the love that saved me

You're sharing

You're sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (I see the light)

Sharing with me (coming out of the dark)

I cannot be in the dark

Making it into the light, yeah

Your love's shining on me (shining)

Shining on me (I see the light)

Shining on me (I see the light)

(Shining, I see the light)

(Coming out of the dark)

I see the light

I see the light (I see the light)

(I see the light)

Shining, shining on me

(Shining, shining)

I didn't think that I could take it (shining)

But your love helped me to make it (coming out of the dark)

Coming out of the dark

I see the light now

Yes, I see the light

(Shining) (I see the light)

(Shining) (I see the light)

(Shining) (I see the light)

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Gloria M. Estefan / Jon Secada / Emilio Estefan Jr.

Coming Out of the Dark lyrics © Foreign Imported Prod. And Publishing 

And the one I did for veterans.

When we grieve, we heal

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos
March 11, 2021 

A year ago, our lives changed. In the last year we have lost over 520,000 people. Almost 29 million citizens have been diagnosed with COVID-19 according to the CDC. Millions have lost their jobs. Millions of people have had to seek out food distribution locations to be able to eat. The thing is, we may never know the true numbers of people who have suffered significant mental health conditions.

The UK has been doing research on the mental health of hospital workers.

The 'Frontline-COVID study', published today in the peer-reviewed European Journal of Psychotraumatology, surveyed 1,194 HSCWs, who worked in UK hospitals, nursing or care homes and other community settings, to identify and compare the rates of mental health disorder across different job roles and places of work.

The research, carried out just after the UK's first wave of COVID between 27 May and 23 July, 2020, found that:

58% of HSCWs met the threshold for any mental health disorder
22% met criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
47% had clinically significant anxiety
47% had depression.

With so many months from then to now, it is easy to understand that the numbers are higher and even easier to understand that the numbers here in the US are much higher.

Health care workers facing a mental health crisis, 60 Minutes

Nurses, doctors and others on the frontlines of the pandemic are facing a health crisis of their own, many feeling depressed, some considering therapy. Lowery spoke with health care workers across the country, including in Georgia's rural northeast, where one hospital is still grappling with the deadliest wave of COVID-19 they've ever seen.

Erine Raybon-Rojas, a critical care doctor at Northeast Georgia Medical Center, said her workload is still more than double what it was pre-pandemic -- with no relief in sight.

"Have there been moments that have felt like you're reaching a breaking point or have been difficult – where you have been overwhelmed?" Lowery asked Raybon-Rojas in an excerpt from the story that aired on "CBS This Morning."

"Every day," Raybon-Rojas said. "It's not uncommon for us to take a minute to go cry, I mean, I cry in my office all the time… Everything you do is about getting people better. And a lot of times it just doesn't happen. The lack of being able to help someone in their most vulnerable moments is the injury. The fact that it happens over and over and over again is what I think really causes the-- the damage."

Most of us know what it is like to lose someone we love. It feels like a part of us has been taken away. Some people may give you time to grieve but then end up telling you to get over it. They don't know what you are going through and they do not deserve the right to tell you when it is time to stop grieving. There is no timeline on healing. Everyone does it in their own time, and some people, never really get over the loss, but they do recover to a certain point. 

Do not fight your feelings. Don't judge yourself by thinking you should be stronger than what your heart is telling you that you need to do. If you need to cry, then cry. Honor your feelings. Talk about what you need to talk about. If it is how much you miss them, then do it. If you need to talk about how much you loved them or how much they suffered, then do it. If you don't have someone to talk to, then write it down, or find a support group. The more you honor your feelings, the more room you have inside your heart to let in warmer memories of them.

If you are a healthcare worker, you have been through things most of us will never understand. You have been a blessing. You were there to help save those you could. You were also there to comfort those you could not save, especially when their families could not be there in their final moments. You need to honor your feelings too. If you are angry because too many people did not take this seriously and only thought about themselves, then honor your anger too. You have no control over what other people do but only about what you do with your own life.

Hopefully, this time next year, we'll all be back to whatever normal was to us and we will remember all the goodness, all those we loved and those we miss, with warmer memories to comfort us.

Today the featured song is Peter Gabriel I Grieve because he put into words what most people cannot find to express their own pain. I hope it comforts you and lets you know that it is OK to grieve.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I did this one in 2008 for National Guard troops with the song I Grieve.

I Grieve

Peter Gabriel

It was only one hour ago

It was all so different then

Nothing yet has really sunk in

Looks like it always did

This flesh and bone

Is just the way that we are tied in

But there's no one home

I grieve, for you

You leave, me

So hard to move on

Still loving what's gone

They say life carries on

Carries on and on and on and on

The news that truly shocks

Is the empty, empty page

While the final rattle rocks

It's empty, empty cage

And I can't handle this

I grieve, for you

You leave, me

Let it out and move on

Missing what's gone

They say life carries on

They say life carries on and on and on

Life carries on in the people I meet

In everyone that's out on the street

In all the dogs and cats

In the flies and rats

In the rot and the rust

In the ashes and the dust

Life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Just the car that we ride in

The home we reside in

The face that we hide in

The way we are tied in

As life carries on and on and on and on

Life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief

Or did I believe this dream?

Now I will find relief

I grieve

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Peter Gabriel

I Grieve lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

find out how to #TakeBackYourLife from it

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 10, 2021

"Darling, somebody still loves you!" Isn't that such a nice thing to hear? If you have been abandoned by everyone you knew, knowing that, can make all the difference in your life. That is what you can find in a PTSD support group. You can find a professional who also cares about you by seeking out a trauma specialist.  PTSD is not the same as other illnesses because this one was caused by an outside force that hit you. When you read about PTSD from the MAYO Clinic, you can see how complicated it can be, but you can also find out how to #TakeBackYourLife from it.

Today the featured video is James Taylor, Her Town Too. It is about how people can be cruel and gossip about things they know nothing about. That happens all the time, but it happens a lot more when people change due to PTSD. It is hard for people to understand what it is like unless they are a survivor too. The thing is, you cannot control them. All you can do is stop them from hurting you even more. Shut them out of your life. The only power they have over you is what you allow them to have.

The best revenge is to heal and be happier! They'll notice the change in you and then it will be more about how happy you seem to be, how great you look and how they want to know how you did it...so they can change their own miserable outlook on life.

You get that from support groups, where someone cares about you and helps you up instead of making fun of the fact you fell apart. Where people will not just be glad to see the change in you, but grateful they had a chance to help you become happier. Then you can help pick others up too and be thrilled you helped change someone's life because you knew what they felt like...when it was your life too.

Somebody still love you!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Her Town Too

James Taylor 

She's been afraid to go out

She's afraid of the knock on her door

There's always a shade of a doubt

She can never be sure

Who comes to call

Maybe the friend of a friend of a friend

Anyone at all

Anything but nothing again

It used to be her town

It used to be her town, too

It used to be her town

It used to be her town, too

Seems like even her old girlfriends

Might be talking her down

She's got her name on the grapevine

Running up and down

The telephone line

Talking 'bout

Someone said, someone said

Something 'bout, something else

Someone might have said about her

She always figured that they were her friends

But maybe they can live without her

It used to be her town

It used to be her town, too

It used to be her town

It used to be her town, too

Well, people got used to seeing them both together

But now he's gone and life goes on

Nothing lasts forever, oh no

She gets the house and the garden

He gets the boys in the band

Some of them his friends

Some of them her friends

Some of them understand

Lord knows that this is just a small town city

Yes, and everyone can see you fall

It's got nothing to do with pity

I just wanted to give you a call

It used to be your town

It used to be my town, too

You never know 'till it all falls down

Somebody loves you

Somebody loves you

Darling, somebody still loves you

I can still remember

When it used to be her town, too

It used to be your town

It used to be my town, too

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John David Souther / James Vernon Taylor / Waddy Wachtell

Her Town Too lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

healing with a smile on your face

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 9, 2021

What is life like when you are healing? BEAUTIFUL! If you know anything about me, you know there are a lot of things that really should make my life suck...but it doesn't. I am usually happy, no matter what crap comes my way. 

For example, today I should have gotten up out of bed in a very bad mood. I fell asleep later than normal and woke up earlier than normal. I was tired but in a good mood. I did my usual stuff, got online and shared some things that were uplifting because when I saw them, they made me feel good inside. I hoped they would make my friends feel better since most of them are going through hard times too.

If you have peace, you are half way there to happiness. If you've already arrived at happiness, then that does not mean you'll always be cheerful but it will take a hell of a lot to get you angry. It also means, you'll get over it faster than you did before.

It is an odd thing when you survived your life being on the line, how deal with stress changes after you start healing. It is almost as if you have a whole new level of what you consider important and what you find not worth getting your blood pressure up for. Don't get me wrong, because I am always confessing that I have a bad temper but have learned to control it. It is a lot of work, but I am happier without exploding.

You've got to get up every morning

With a smile in your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes you will

That you're beautiful, as you feel

That is why today the featured video is Carole King, Beautiful! I like being happy and I like helping others to feel better about their day too. Most of the time they appreciate it. Sometimes there are cranky people who love being miserable and making everyone else miserable too. Don't let them get you down because while you feel better helping others feel good, they only feel better about making others feel worse.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it~

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Beautiful

Carole King 

You've got to get up every morning

With a smile in your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes you will

That you're beautiful, as you feel

Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing

I've got nothing to do but watch the passers-by

Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing

And they don't see it showing, why do I?

You've got to get up every morning

With a smile in your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes you will

That you're beautiful as you feel

I have often asked myself the reason for sadness

In a world where tears are just a lullaby

If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness

Maybe not, oh, but we can only try

You've got to get up every morning

With a smile in your face

And show the world all the love in your heart

Then people gonna treat you better

You're gonna find, yes you will

That you're beautiful

You're beautiful

You're beautiful as you feel

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Carole King

Beautiful lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

rethink fighting PTSD alone

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 8, 2021 

If you are trying to get through what PTSD is doing to you alone, then consider this.

In the military, they are called Battle Buddy.

If hundreds of soldiers were talked out of that darkness because their squadmate became their best friend, I’ll forever argue its merit, no matter how goofy it sounds calling another grown-ass warfighter my “battle buddy.”

5 reasons why the battle buddy system was secretly brilliant, We Are The Mighty, Eric Milzarski

With the Department of Veterans Affairs, they are called Peer Support.

“When I began peer support, I was quiet, withdrawn, extremely habitual,” she recalled. “I wasn’t engaged in the community. But they told me someone is in there and we are going to give you the skills to bring her back.
“The beautiful thing about peer support is that there is no pressure. They allowed me to play the game, using old habits to mask and cope. It allowed me to know other Veterans are struggling. Peer support allowed me to put that on a shelf and be a human being again.”

Peer support specialists help Veterans in crisis VAntage Point, Coast Guard Veteran Lavinia Jackson

If you join any support group, someone is there for you. If not then you may call them your friend, spouse, family member, or anyone else who is there for you to turn to.

Why would you ever think you should fight this on your own? So many found strength leaning on someone when they needed it, then being there when someone else did!

Alcoholics Anonymous, gives people a sponsor. Support groups all have someone there to help others. This is all there because it works. If you are a veteran and you get arrested, most states have Veterans Courts, where someone is assigned to help you get what you need to have another chance to recover. Some prisons have units where they put veterans all in together because it is understood that most of the time, the trouble started with putting their lives on the line and they have support with them. 

This is why the featured video today is Melissa Manchester, Just You And I!

Now if you think you should still fight to heal PTSD alone, you might way to rethink that one because it is probably not working for you.  Time to find out what will!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD

Just You And I

Melissa Manchester 

When your heroes go up in a puff,

And there's not enough to hang on to

And the ones you would count on to call

They all fall down all around you

Then you've got to believe there's more

It is the reason we're put here for

It's just you and I

When the legend's over - and we have just begun

We can look to each other to see us through

Just you and I

When a miracle's long overdue

And there's no one who's gonna come to guide you

So you keep looking up to the sky - wondering why

The clouds won't hide you

At the times when you're most afraid

That is the reason why dreams are made

It's just you and I

When the legend's over - and we have just begun

We can look to each other to see us through

Just you and I

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Carole Bayer Sager / Melissa Manchester / Melissa Toni Manchester

Just You and I lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Carlin America Inc 

A newly reimagined recording of Melissa’s early hit, “Just You And I”
Melissa Manchester’s latest single, a newly reimagined recording of her early hit, “JUST YOU AND I” is a Labor Day Week tribute to the essential workers and first responders who are getting us all through the coronavirus crisis. The Grammy Award winning singer/songwriter is joined by legendary saxophonist Gerald Albright and the young artists from Citrus College in this updated version of the 1976 Billboard charted classic.

September 8th, 2020 

One of my old videos from 2006....