Missing someone you love is hard.

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 23, 2021

I just got my second COVID-19 shot and I am glad I did. I want to make sure that I am not responsible for passing it onto someone who may not survive it. We're lost so many people over the last year, when their deaths didn't need to happen. It is hard enough to lose someone as it is.

As of today, we've lost 567,352 to COVID-19 accordong to the CDC and some were old, some were young. We miss them and it hurts. It always hurts when someone you love dies. The thing is, they will always be a part of you and your life, but just in a different way.

Yesterday I did a post about my Dad and how he is responsible for the work I do on PTSD. In a way, he is a part of changing the lives of many and he never knew it. He is a part of me always. The thing is, I grieved for him in my own way and for as long as it took. He was the first person I lost that I was close to and he was just 58 years old. He passed away before my daughter was born. It was that long ago and still, I miss him. I miss everyone in my family who died too.

Missing someone you love is hard. Here is some advice I hope will give you comfort. Heal in your own time and grieve until you don't need to anymore. Don't let someone else tell you that you should be over it on a time they think it should happen. It is your life the person was in, and your heart that misses them.

When holidays or anniversary dates come, do something different than what you did when they were here. They are now in your life as memories, so do something that they would have enjoyed. Mother's Day is coming. Eat their favorite meal. Buy their favorite flowers, not the ones you used to buy because you thought they were pretty. Go through photo albums, or through the boxes you have been meaning to sort through. Bring them into the day when you miss them the most and they will be there with you.

Remember that with this terrible time, things will change, as they always do, for the better. Until that day comes, hold onto the memories of them and take comfort from what they put inside of you while they were here.

Today the featured video is Bruce Springsteen Ghosts.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Ghosts

Bruce Springsteen

I hear the sound of your guitar

Comin' from the mystic far

Stone and the gravel in your voice

Come in my dreams and I rejoice

It's your ghost moving through the night

Your spirit filled with light

I need, need you by my side

Your love and I'm alive

I can feel the blood shiver in my bones

I'm alive and I'm out here on my own

I'm alive and I'm comin' home

Old buckskin jacket you always wore

Hangs on the back of my bedroom door

Boots and the spurs you used to ride

Click down the hall but never arrive

It's just your ghost moving through the night

Your spirit filled with light

I need, need you by my side

Your love and I'm alive

I can feel the blood shiver in my bones

I'm alive and I'm out here on my own

I'm alive and I'm comin' home

Your old Fender Twin from Johnny's Music downtown

Still set on ten to burn this house down

Count the band in, then kick into overdrive

By the end of the set we leave no one alive

Ghosts runnin' through the night

Our spirits filled with light

I need, need you by my side

Your love and I'm alive

I shoulder your Les Paul and finger the fretboard

I make my vows to those who've come before

I turn up the volume, let the spirits be my guide

Meet you, brother and sister, on the other side

I'm alive, I can feel the blood shiver in my bones

I'm alive and I'm out here on my own

I'm alive and I'm comin' home

Yeah, I'm comin' home

La-la-la-la, la-la, la, la, la...

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bruce Springsteen

Ghosts lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Israel and Indonesia prove PTSD survivors matter

I was shocked to see that PTSD Patrol had over 4,000 page views yesterday. I feel blessed and it shows that PTSD does not decide to strike nations. It strikes survivors no matter where they live.

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Legacy of Healing PTSD From My Dad

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 22, 2021

When I think about my Dad, I often wonder how he'd feel if he knew what he started back in 1982. All these later, the number of lives changed because he served in Korea and he never knew about them. I am a living legacy to him and his life.

About a week ago, I received a strange message on Facebook from a man claiming to have pictures of my Dad in Korea. He wrote things that had to be true, so I called him. His Dad served with mine. The twist to the story is that his Dad probably never knew he had a son born in Korea. Yesterday he sent me pictures I had never seen before and I thought about my Dad a lot more than usual.

My Mom and oldest brother went to stay with him when he was in Japan.

We were a normal family. Both of my brothers were born on Army bases. He was a Staff Sergeant. He left the Army before I was born but I was a typical Army brat. I also grew up with uncles who served in WWII. That was all normal to me. I didn't discover it was not usual to have a family full of veterans, or that having living room furniture from Japan was odd, until I was older.

When I met my current husband, I was already divorced and only 23. The night he met my husband, he said, "He seems like a really nice guy but he's got shell shock." My husband is a Vietnam veteran. I had no idea what he was talking about and when I asked him to explain it, he told me to go to the library because war changes people.

I spent all my free time at the library with clinical books and a dictionary, learning as much as I could. The more I learned, the more I fell in love. Not just with the man I would end up marrying, but loved my Dad more and all veterans. Now they call it PTSD.

My Dad started what turned out to be my life's work. Thousands of articles, books, videos, several websites and more, all started because of my Dad's life in the Army. Over the years, I've had many messages thanking me for what I do and to pass appreciation on to my husband for his service. I just wanted you to know, that had it not been for my Dad, I don't think any of this would have started.

This is why today the featured video is, Dan Fogelberg, The Leader Of The Band.

If you've sent me emails thanking me for what I do, and thanking my husband for his service, I wanted you to know that none of this would have happened if my Dad didn't understand what he saw in my husband. It is a good reminder that we never know how much we do change the world when we are willing to do what we can, when we can, when we are willing to try.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Leader of the Band / Washington Post March

Dan Fogelberg

An only child

Alone and wild

A cabinet maker's son

His hands were meant

For different work

And his heart was known

To none --

He left his home

And went his lone

And solitary way

And he gave to me

A gift I know I never

Can repay

A quiet man of music

Denied a simpler fate

He tried to be a soldier once

But his music wouldn't wait

He earned his love

Through discipline

A thundering, velvet hand

His gentle means of sculpting souls

Took me years to understand.

The leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through

My instrument

And his song is in my soul --

My life has been a poor attempt

To imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy

To the leader of the band.

My brothers' lives were

Different

For they heard another call

One went to Chicago

And the other to St. Paul

And I'm in Colorado

When I'm not in some hotel

Living out this life I've chose

And come to know so well.

I thank you for the music

And your stories of the road

I thank you for the freedom

When it came my time to go --

I thank you for the kindness

And the times when you got tough

And, pap, I don't think I

Said 'I love you' near enough --

The leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through

My instrument

And his song is in my soul --

My life has been a poor attempt

To imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy

To the leader of the band

I am the living legacy

To the leader of the band.

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan Fogelberg

Leader of the Band / Washington Post March lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

Don't lose that number

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 21, 2021

When your life is falling apart, you know you need help. What if you have no one to ask to help you? Maybe you've had past experience with asking people to help you but they didn't. If you don't know anyone you know will help, then it is easy to think you don't deserve any. I've felt that way about a million times. It isn't that people I know won't help me, but they don't know how to help me.

When you have PTSD, most of the time people do care but they have no idea how to help. Most people have a hard time knowing how to just listen and let you talk. Most of the time, they have no idea how helpful it is to just get the words out of our mouths.

But if you've run out of people to call, tired of getting drunk, tired of crying and struggling to just get from one day to the next, you need someone you can call who does care and does know how to help!

Some people will remind you that you are not alone, but it doesn't help if you have your head in your hands sitting alone and don't know where to turn. It does help when people prove you are not alone and know how to help you get through the rough days a lot of people have. Don't lose those numbers! They are there to listen and help you through it!

Trust me because I know what it feels like to want to just give up. I know what it is like to be alone and don't know where to turn. I also know what it is like when I do find the help I need, when I need it, and from people who not only want to help me, they are trained to do it properly.

Your life can turn around too and you can pass it on when you feel better and you know, you are not alone at all.

Lifeline National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress.

This is why today the featured video is Rikki Don't Lose That Number!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Rikki Don't Lose That Number

Steely Dan 

We hear you're leavin', that's okay

I thought our little wild time had just begun

I guessed you kind of scared yourself, you turn and run

But if you have a change of heart

Rikki, don't lose that number

You don't wanna call nobody else

Send it off in a letter to yourself

Rikki, don't lose that number

It's the only one you own

You might use it if you feel better

When you get home

I have a friend in town, he's heard your name

We can go out driving on Slow Hand Row

We could stay inside and play games, I don't know

And you could have a change of heart

Rikki, don't lose that number

You don't wanna call nobody else

Send it off in a letter to yourself

Rikki, don't lose that number

It's the only one you own

You might use it if you feel better

When you get home

You tell yourself you're not my kind

But you don't even know your mind

And you could have a change of heart

Rikki, don't lose that number

You don't wanna call nobody else

Send it off in a letter to yourself

Rikki, don't lose that number

It's the only one you own

You might use it if you feel better

When you get home

Rikki, don't lose that number

Rikki, don't lose that number

Rikki, don't lose that number

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Becker Walter Carl / Fagen Donald Jay

Rikki Don't Lose That Number lyrics © American Broadcasting Music, Inc. 

Using my work as your own?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 20, 2021

Today I was on Facebook and almost fell off my chair when I saw something I did used to promote a group that is doing something I find sickening. Yes, they are doing suicide awareness! They used this image with my graphic. Topped off with sticking their logo all over it as if they owned it! I won't post their image here but you can find it on my other site.

This is the link to my post from 2013. It is one of the oldest ones I could find, but considering how long I've been doing this work, it could be even older. I do not put my name or logo on images unless I own the image. I don't even do it when I totally change the picture because the picture someone else took inspired me to do the message. I respect their work! I do put my name and logo on things I totally create but that doesn't stop people from just taking my work and removing my name. That not only shows they do not respect the work others have done, they do not respect the people they claim to be in business for.

This is why the featured video today is Respect Yourself sung by Melissa Etheridge.

This isn't a compliment. It is just one more time when work I've dedicated my life to since 1982, invested thousands of dollars into sharing, plus hundreds of hours training to do, along with all the other years of researching, countless phone calls and emails, plus all the videos, was just something for someone else to take from me.

Had this group asked for permission, like many others have, when they are doing something I think is repulsive, I would have told them no. Their mission is going in the wrong direction and the facts have proven this does not work. Saving lives requires more than a slogan. Groups like this are the reason veterans couldn't find me anymore and I had to give up on helping them. My heart couldn't take it anymore. It was being ripped out by continually being reminded of the publicity these groups get, and the number of suicides increasing.

Last year I decided since I survived over 10 events, I could help more people by opening this work up to everyone who has PTSD to give them hope and show them the way to #TakeBackYourLife, while all these groups do is talk about veterans as if they are just a number. A number they do not even come close to understanding.

I respected the veterans I was helping enough to provide them with what they needed to know. Like when I started posting about them committing suicide back in 2007. I thought all that was needed was for me to put together a powerful post that would get someone to change what was going on and then they could heal too. I never expect it to turn into a billion dollar industry with stunts! I respected then enough to give them the facts, so the only thing I posted was news reports and government reports. When those reports were wrong, I posted the truth and did rebuttals. 

In 2009, when the DOD was pushing their programs that were doomed to fail, I posted how it would increase suicides because it told service members they could "train their brains to be mentally tough" which they understood as having a weak mind if they ended up with PTSD.

If these groups do not respect veterans enough to tell them what they need to hear to stay alive, heal and be happier, do not respect those who came long before they were even wondering, then maybe you should consider if you should support them or not.

I am not doing a video today because you know how much I'd be swearing about all this! Check back tomorrow for a better attitude from me. (I hope)

Respect Yourself

If you disrespect anybody that you run in to

How in the world do you think anybody's s'posed to respect you

If you don't give a heck 'bout the man with the bible in his hand, y'all

Just get out the way, and let the gentleman do his thing

You the kind of gentleman that want everything your way, yeah

Take the sheet off your face, boy, it's a brand new day

Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself

If you don't respect yourself

Ain't nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na

Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself

If you're walking 'round think'n that the world owes you something 'cause you're here

You goin' out the world backwards like you did when you first come here yeah

Keep talkin' bout the president, won't stop air pollution

Put your hand on your mouth when you cough, that'll help the solution

Oh, you cuss around women and you don't even know their names, no

Then you're dumb enough to think that'll make you a big ol' man

Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself

If you don't respect yourself

Ain't nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na

Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself

Respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself, respect yourself

Respect yourself, yeah yeah respect yourself, respect yourself yeah, respect yourself

You oughta you oughta respect yourself yeah, respect yourself

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Luther Thomas Ingram / Mack Rice

Respect Yourself lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group 

Melissa Etheridge - "Respect Yourself" (Official Lyric Video)

UPDATE

I was just on their Facebook page where they have used this many times and found even more!

They used this slogan over and over again!

here is the link to my post from 2016, and yes, I messed up typing the date but have the Google Search result below.

They actually used this one when the post I did was attacking all the groups doing suicide awareness!

Here is the link to the post from 2016

And then they left me this question...

What they do not seem to know, goes along with everything else. They would have been able to know this was wrong if they bothered to look it up! 

From Copyright Alliance

There are three basic requirements that a work must meet to be protected by copyright. The work must be:
Original: To be original, a work must merely be independently created. In other words, it cannot be copied from something else. There is no requirement that the work be novel (as in patent law), unique, imaginative or inventive.
Creative: To satisfy the creativity requirement a work need only demonstrate a very small amount of creativity. Very few creations fail to satisfy this requirement.
Fixed: To meet the fixation requirement, a work must be fixed in a tangible medium of expression. Protection attaches automatically to an eligible work the moment the work is fixed. A work is considered to be fixed as long as it’s sufficiently permanent or stable to permit it to be perceived, reproduced, or otherwise communicated for a period of more than transitory duration.

If I do not create the image itself, take the picture or use Photoshop to make it, then I do not put my name on it. I only own the changes I make to the picture. In this case, We Are The 22 took my work and put their logo on them without the right to do it.